Phule Me Twice
turned his gaze on her again. Even in the dim lighting, her thick dark hair and flashing eyes would have made a strong impression on any man not entirely devoid of feeling.
    "I think so," she said weakly. Her lashes fluttered, and she made a valiant attempt to sit up but slumped against his chest as her energy failed. "I think I'll be safe if you can just take me to my room."
    "Yes, miss," he said. "I'll get you there, and I can have security keep tabs on you for the rest of your stay, if you'd like. We don't want our guests to feel unsafe in the Fat Chance. In fact, I feel I should apologize for what's happened so far."
    "No apology necessary, Captain," she said. "If you could just help me up..."
    Helping her get up and walking her to her room was a somewhat complicated process. The young woman was evidently weakened by her ordeal, since she continued to lean much of her weight on the captain as he led her down the corridor. At the door to her room, he waited while she found her key card and watched while she opened the door. "Do you need any more help, miss?" he asked.
    "No, I should be all right," she said, smiling.
    "Good," he said and took a step backward.
    The young woman smiled bravely and began to close the door behind her, then suddenly said, "Oh!" and began to slump toward the floor again.
    The captain stepped forward and caught her before the door closed. "Are you sure you're all right, miss?" he asked. "I can call the hotel doctor."
    "I don't think I need a doctor," she said, leaning her weight on his chest. "But maybe you could help me get to my bed."
    "Certainly, miss, and then I think I should call the doctor-just in case." He picked her up in his arms and carried her through the door to the side of the bed.
    "Oh, you're so strong," she murmured, her lips close to his ear. Her arms twined around his neck.
    The captain put her onto the bed and, gently disengaging himself from her grasp, stepped back and said, "Now, I'm going to call the doctor."
    She began to protest, but he held a finger to his lips and said, "No-don't say anything. I suspect you need to rest."
    He picked up the phone, touched a button, and spoke briefly to the person on the other end. After a few sentences, he nodded and hung up the receiver. "Dr. Gulkova's on duty tonight. She'll be right up. I'll wait until she comes, and then I'll make sure you're not disturbed. If there's anything else I can do for you, please get in touch with me. Any hotel operator can connect you directly to my office."
    She lay back on the bed, listening. As he continued to speak, her face changed expression to a sultry pout. "You know what else you can do for me, Captain-don't pretend you don't. I'm beginning to think you don't like me."
    The captain smiled. "Now, now, miss, don't worry yourself. I know you've been through a lot tonight. We'll make sure nobody annoys you for the rest of your stay with us."
    The woman sat up in the bed and barked, "If you don't want anyone to annoy me, I suggest you get out of my room! I've had just about all of your goody-goody act I can stand."
    "Of course, miss," said the captain, smiling. "I'll wait outside the door, and when the doctor comes, I'll leave." He turned and started to leave.
    With an inarticulate shout, the woman reached down and grabbed one of her shoes off her foot and threw it with all her might at his retreating. But by then, he had the door almost closed behind him, and the missile bounced harmlessly off onto the floor. She slammed both fists onto the bed in frustration. "You bastard!" she cried. "You'll pay for this when we finally do catch you! You'll pay!
    But the captain was already gone, the door closed behind him. If he had heard her outburst, he gave no sign at all.
     
    The two local policemen standing in front of Phule's desk were obviously doing their best to stay calm and professional. The complainant, standing unsteadily on crutches between the policeman, wasn't.
    Phule massaged the bridge of his nose.

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