Read Outside In for Free Online

a sportive smile. “Guess you’ll have to take your chances.”
    Cinch tosses some money on the bar, which is the first time I’ve seen anyone pay for drinks at any of the bars I’ve been to today. “Want to join us for a pit stop at the red barn?” he asks.
    “You boys go do your thing,” Astrid replies. “I’ll catch up with you later at the Round House.”
    She leaves. I motion at the piano bar to Haley doing shots with some customers. “What about her?” I ask Cinch.
    “She won’t even notice we’re gone,” Cinch says. “She’s always popular when she goes out. People attempt to befriend her,hoping she’ll come through for them when there’s a line halfway down the street to get into the Round House.”
    On the way out of the bar, he jabs me playfully in the back. “Are you ready to take it up a notch?”
    “Bring it on. I’m not afraid,” I say. “Time to smoke again?”
    Cinch breaks into an exaggerated skip. “Greens were the appetizer. Dinner comes on a plate.”

    In the red barn, Cinch disappears down the hallway and returns with a brown paper bag. Thrusting his hand into the sack, he reveals a white chunk. “La Blanca Dama.”
    The responsibilities of my former life trigger my answer. “Cocaine? Count me out.” Things are moving too fast. Drinking, the pot, and now this? I have to slow down.
    “Embrace the Lady. Be the man you always wanted to be.” Again leading the ceremony, Cinch retrieves a plate with a plastic hotel key card and a three-inch straw on it from under the couch and crumbles the rock into smaller pieces. Pushing the fragments into a pile, he covers the mound with a twenty-dollar bill, repeatedly scraping the card over it. “This shit is so hard, it flies everywhere if you try to chop it first. This gets it to a pretty fine consistency.” He lifts the bill, exposing a flat, off-white pancake.
    “Oh, the things you learn. I try to learn at least one new thing a day. I guess the pressure’s off for today,” I say, still unsure what to do.
    He chops the card through the flakes, never lifting his eyes. Saliva forms on the corners of his mouth. His nose runs. He sniffs, pulling back the drops before they fall into the focus of his concentration.
    Small talk is all that comes to mind. Anything to hide my fear. I say, “Is it good stuff?”
    “Only the best.” He separates the gram into four thick rails. “Time to board the train, baby. One for each nostril.” He extends the straw toward me. “Guests first.”
    “What will it do? I mean, what if I have a reaction?”
    “Ladies and gentlemen, we have a virgin in our midst. Nose cherry about to be burst. There ain’t no line like your first line, my friend. Insert straw, bend down, inhale, and follow the white powder road. Time to stop being Mr. Shepherd. Just be Brad.”
    I wish it were that easy. The body changes locations much quicker than the mind. I stare at the lines and push back the fear. “No more Mr. Shepherd.” Bending down, my hair falls in my face and drags across the plate.
    Cinch says, “Pull that mop back. I’ll hold it. There’s only two times when I’ll hold another man’s hair: snorting and puking. Hopefully the latter won’t happen tonight.”
    Ssshhhump
. I huff the first one down. An ether smell fills my face, but I feel nothing.
    Cinch follows, inhaling powerfully.
Ssshhhump
. “Cocaine and alcohol are like hamburgers and French fries,” he says. “Pancakes and syrup, turkey and dressing.”
    I say, “My nose burns a little, but I don’t—” My throat swells, and the back of my neck tingles. I’m both energized and relaxed.
    Cinch laughs. “And Brad discovered the drip. Don’t you love how that medicinal flavor trickles into the back of your throat? Your life will never be the same.”
    The cocaine erases my alcohol buzz. Thoughts bubble like baking soda added to vinegar and erupt as rambling speech. I say, “I never thought I’d be doing this tonight. I mean, it’s my