father died when she was very young. She’s afraid all men are—’ He searched for the word but could not find it; by now his thought-processes were erratic, filmed over and peculiar. He had never experienced anything like this before, and it frightened him.
‘Just be calm,’ Zeta said.
Nick said, ‘I think Kleo is vapid.’
‘“Vapid”? What’s “vapid”?’
‘Empty.’ He gestured. ‘Maybe I mean passive.’
‘Women are supposed to be passive.’
‘But it interferes—’ He stumbled over the word and felt his face redden with embarrassment. ‘It interferes with their maturing.’
Zeta leaned toward him. ‘You’re saying all this because you’re scared of her disapproval. You say she’s “passive” and yet that’s exactly what you want, now, in regard to this. You want her to go along; I mean, approve of what you’re doing. But why tell her at all? Why does she need to know?’
‘I always tell her everything.’
‘Why?’ Zeta said loudly.
‘That’s the way it’s supposed to be,’ Nick said.
‘When we finish this beer,’ Zeta said, ‘you and I are going somewhere. I won’t say where – it’s just a place. Where, if we get lucky, we can pick up some material.’
‘You mean Under Men material?’ Nick asked, and felt coldness tug at his heart; he felt himself being steered into risky waters. ‘I already have a booklet a friend posing as a—’ He broke off, unable to construct his sentence. ‘I’m not going to take any risks.’
‘You already have.’
‘But it’s enough,’ Nick said. ‘Already. Sitting here drinking this beer and talking the way we’ve been talking.’
Zeta said, ‘There is only one “talking” that matters. The talking of Eric Cordon. The real stuff; not the forgeries that are being circulated around on the street, but what he does say, what it’s all about. I don’t want to tell you anything: I want
him
to tell you. In one of his booklets. I know where we can pick one up.’ He rose to his feet. ‘I’m not talking about the “words of Eric Cordon”. I’m talking about the
true
words of Eric Cordon, his admonitions, parables, the plans, known only to those who are truly members of the world of free men. Under Men in the truest sense; the real sense.’
‘I don’t want to do anything Kleo won’t approve of,’ Nick said. ‘A husband and wife have to be honest with each other; if I go ahead with this—’
‘If she doesn’t approve, get yourself another wife who can.’
‘You mean that?’ Nick asked; his brain had become so fogged over now that he could not tell if Zeta was serious. And, if he did mean what he said, whether he was right or not. ‘You mean this could split us,’ he said.
‘It’s split a lot of marriages before. Anyhow, are you so happy with her? You said before, “She’s vapid.” Your exact words. And
you
said it, not me.’
‘It’s the alcohol,’ Nick said.
‘Of course it’s the alcohol.
“In vino veritas
,”,’ Zeta said, and grinned, showing his brownish teeth. ‘That’s Latin; it means—’
‘I know what it means,’ Nick said; he felt anger, now, but he did not know what toward. Was it toward Zeta? No, he thought, it’s Kleo. I know how she would react to this. Weshouldn’t ask for trouble. We’ll wind up in a detention dome on Luna, in one of those dreadful work camps. ‘What comes first?’ he asked Zeta. ‘You’re married, too; you have a wife, and you have two children. Is your respon—’ Again his tongue failed to function properly. ‘Where’s your first loyalty? To them? Or to political action?’
‘Toward men in general,’ Zeta said. He raised his head, held the beer bottle to his lips, and finished the last of the beer. He then slammed it violently down on the table. ‘Let’s get moving,’ he said to Nick. ‘It’s like the Bible says: “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”’
‘“Free”?’ Nick asked, also rising – and