patio, where we can see our house and even inside it.
With me in my dressing gown and Bear in a t-shirt and sweat pants, we face the detectives.
Bear puts his arm around my shaking shoulders and absentmindedly mutters, “We will find her.”
I’m crying so hard, I can barely speak. In my mind, Savannah is not coming back. Tom has taken her like he took Sasha and he’s not going to return her to me.
He killed his own child, how hard would it be to kill Bear’s?
“It’s my ex-h…husband,” I say to Federal police officers, Harmon and Holmes. “He’s b…behind it. I know that for a fact. He’s in R…Remington Correctional Centre and he …he did this. I just, I just …”
“What’s his name?” Harmon asks, dialing on his phone.
“Tom Botha.”
“I’m calling them now.” Harmon moves away.
“Arena,” Bear whispers, “Tom doesn’t know where we live. We’re not listed, baby, we’re not…”
“When last have you seen him?” Holmes interrupts.
“’Bout three years ago,” Bear answers.
I don’t answer.
Holmes pauses with his pen in mid-air and looks at me.
My silence makes him turn his whole body to look at me. “Mrs. Shaw?”
I throw Bear an anguished look before I look at Holmes. “T…three days ago,” I whisper.
“ARENA!” Bear shouts, taking a step away from me. “ARENA, NO!”
I turn to look at him. “I’m sorry, Bear. I’m so sorry!”
“ARENA!” Bear’s face is a mask of horror. “NO! NO! NO!” With both hands on his head, he turns around like he’s going mad. “No…no…no!” He looks back at me, a beseeching look on his face. “Tell me you’re lying, Arena. Tell me that!”
With both hands clamped over my mouth, I stare at him.
Oh, God, what have I done?
Holmes’s eyes dart between the two of us, before he turns to me, his eyebrows raised.
I sink into a chair and start to rock. “He has cancer and he’s dying, so like, I struggled with not letting him see Warren, my son, eh, our son and like…” I hang my head. “I …oh, God, oh, God! What have I done? Oh, God!”
Harmon rushes up to us. “He’s still in. All locked up. Double-checked. And no, your ex doesn’t have cancer.”
My eyes bulge. “Wha…?”
Harmon shrugs. “Double-checked that too. No cancer.”
“He doesn’t have cancer?” My voice is a whisper. No wonder he looked so healthy.
He just lured me there, set me up. I had to call ahead and give them my details so that I could visit. That’s how he got my address!
Now, somehow, he has my baby. I jump out of the chair and whirl around with both my hands over my head. “Oh, Savannah! Oh, baby girl, what has Mummy done?!”
Bear backs away from us, an expression on his face I have never seen before. “Going to drive around,” he mutters.
“The entire neighbourhood is basically cordoned off and there is an APB out,” Holmes says. “No need for you to do that.”
Bear shoots me an accusing look. I look away. With a curt nod to Holmes, Bear strides off.
I want to run after Bear and explain why I decided to see Tom, to beg for Bear’s forgiveness, but I can’t move. My feet feel like they’re encased in cement.
With both hands covering my mouth, I sink into the patio chair again, the cops, the red and blue flashing lights, the people in the street around our house becoming one big blur.
“Arena!”
I look up into Ritchie’s face.
“Oh, Ritchie, he’s taken her. Tom’s taken her!”
He holds me as I babble.
“And who might you be?” Holmes asks, eyeing Ritchie.
“I’m Ritchie McMillan, Arena’s brother,” he answers, stroking my hair. “I live a few streets away from here.”
“Okay.” Holmes turns to me. “What kind of work do you do?”
“I …I run an organization called W.A.W. Women …women assisting women. Who flee …abusive relationships.”
Holmes nods. “Is there something going on between you and your ex-husband?”
I shake my head. “No, no, no, no! Absolutely not! I thought