worry." He took a step toward Joel, but Joel didn't flinch.
He looked into his father's face, waiting for the blow that he was sure would come ... must come. His father had never hit him, but he would now. "I guess I fell asleep," he said. "I didn't hear a thing." He spoke out of the deep calm that had taken hold of him sometime in the long afternoon. "Besides," he added, "it's my house. I can come here if I want to."
Now! His father would hit him now!
Joel's father quit tugging on his hair and dropped his hand. "Of course it's your house," he said quietly, "but you don't have permission to lock yourself in here when Mrs. Zabrinsky is supposed to be looking after you. She wouldn't have even known you were here if Bobby hadn't caught a glimpse of you going through the door."
"Snoop," Joel said.
"What?" his father asked, beginning to look exasperated again.
"Never mind."
"Well, where is Tony, then? His mother will want to know."
In the river, Joel thought, but out loud he said, "On the road to Starved Rock."
His father tipped his head to one side. He looked skeptical. "Alone?" he asked.
"I came back," Joel said. "Starved Rock was too far, so I came back." Was this what he had planned to say? He wasn't sure.
Bobby appeared in the doorway, his fists cocked on his hips in imitation of their mother's favorite stance when she was cross with either of them. "You guys aren't supposed to be in the house when Mommy and Daddy are gone," he said in his best boy-you're-going-to-get-it voice.
"So what?" Joel snapped back and, instantly deflated, Bobby ducked his head, tucking his thumb into his mouth.
Joel's father was studying his face minutely. "You mean to tell me," he said, "that Tony rode all the way to Starved Rock by himself?"
"I guess he did," Joel said.
"He lied to me, you know, about his mother's giving him permission to go. I found that out from Mrs. Zabrinsky, too."
Joel could feel his father's gaze like a burning pressure. He held his breath, waiting for the moment when all would be known ... but his father only shook his head, looked away. "I feel responsible...."
You are responsible, Joel wanted to say. But instead he asked, his voice dull and flat, "Do you want me to go see if I can find him?"
"No, of course not." His father sighed. "It's too far to go back on your bike. Anyway you need to get started on your paper route." He turned and started out of the room, calling back over his shoulder, "I'll telephone the Zabrinskys and tell them that Tony will probably be late."
Very late, Joel thought, and he had a strange urge to laugh. Tony's dead! Don't you know that? he wanted to yell. But since it was obvious his father didn't know, that his father didn't know anything, he kicked the leg of his bed and muttered, "Frigging newspapers!"
Bobby's eyes grew round, but his father, though he must have heard, didn't turn back. He wasn't going to do anything, no matter what.
"Can I help you with your route today, Joel?" Bobby asked. Bobby was always wanting to help him with his route, with his Scout projects, with anything he did. Sometimes Bobby even helped him when it was his turn on dishes. Dumb little kid.
Joel didn't usually let Bobby go along on his route, though. Tony went along lots of times, but he had his own bike. Balancing Bobby on his bike along with the load of papers was a real trick.
Besides, Tony really helped. He didn't just tag along asking questions and getting in the way.
Tony! Would the Zabrinskys ever find him? The teenager had said something about a body maybe washing up at one of the dams ... next week, next month. Maybe. Why hadn't Joel told his father about Tony's going down to the river to swim, about his going on to Starved Rock while Tony went to the river? Then his father could tell the Zabrinskys and the Zabnnskys would know where to look. Somehow nothing had come out right.
"Can I, Joel? Please?" Bobby repeated, and when Joel looked down at his brother, at the eagerness in Bobby's