looked away and kept my gaze on the tables around us, only
vaguely aware of the boisterous crowd laughing and having a good time. My
thoughts were jumbled, not helped by the haze of alcohol as I fought to keep my
mind clear. When the waitress came back with my beer, the sound of it hitting the
table as she placed it in front of me seemed to echo throughout the bar,
despite it being so noisy.
My eyes flicked to
Logan when I heard him sigh. He looked tired and resigned. “This isn’t an easy
time for me, either. Maybe I’m taking it out on you.”
I lowered my gaze
and just stared silently at my beer. I knew where this was leading and it was a
topic I didn’t want to venture into, so I just kept my mouth shut.
“Maddie, look at
me,” he said gently.
My eyes shot to
his. “Don’t call me that. You know I hate being called that.” My voice was
quiet, but that didn’t mask the fierce intensity behind it. Maddie was a
nickname I hated, and it was especially distasteful hearing it from Logan’s
lips.
His mouth
tightened at my reaction. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…” He took a deep breath.
“It just slipped out.”
“I think it’s time
to go home.”
Logan didn’t
protest and indicated for the waitress to bring over our check. I grabbed my
wallet from my purse when she set the bill on the table with a bright smile and
wished us a good night, oblivious to the tension between us. I reached for the
check, but Logan’s one word stopped me.
“Don’t.”
He had a habit of
always wanting to pay for everything, which I thought was unfair since we were
just friends. I usually put up a fight and sometimes won and treated him, but
those instances were few and far between. This time I just kept my mouth shut.
I was uncomfortable and tense, not to mention still tipsy, and I thought it
best to just get out of there as soon as possible.
I left my
untouched bottle of beer on the table, and we filed out of the bar without
speaking. I wanted to take a cab home so I could escape Logan’s company as soon
as possible, but I knew that would result in another fight, so I just climbed
into his SUV without saying a word.
The drive to my
apartment was quiet and tense, and I could see how tightly he was gripping the
steering wheel by his white knuckles. I wasn’t sure if I was angry with him or
at myself for overreacting. Either way, I couldn’t think of anything to say.
“You can just drop
me off,” I said when he started to parallel park into an empty spot on my
street. “You don’t need to come up.”
Logan ignored me as
he finished parking, and cut off the ignition. He turned to me, his face grim
and shadowed in the darkness of the car. “We need to talk. I’m coming up.”
I crossed my arms
against my chest, trying to put some sort of barrier between us so that I
didn’t feel so vulnerable. Letting Logan come up to my apartment right now
would be a big mistake. Neither of us was acting like our normal self, and I
was scared of what that could lead to.
“We can talk here.”
Logan sighed and turned
away from me, resting his head back against his seat. “Madison, why are you
upset with me?”
“I’m not.” I
forced my tone to be emotionless because I was afraid of what might spill out
of me if I wasn’t careful. “I’m just tired, and like you said, I’ve had too
much to drink. I just want to go to bed.”
“You know I care
about you.” His voice was hushed but it seemed to fill the interior of the car.
My heart started thudding against my ribcage but I tried to keep calm.
“I care about you,
too,” I replied, trying to paste a smile on my face. “You’re one of my closest
friends, and I value your friendship. Let’s just forget about what happened
today. Both of us seem to be on edge. You’re probably tired from being
overworked. As for me, maybe it’s just that time of the month.”
My lame joke fell
flat, making me feel foolish as the silence stretched on between us. I