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cereal at one sitting if I allowed myself to. Occasionally, I gave in to that temptation (and I still do).
    But I was making progress. I cut out foods that I knew were bad for me and slept as much as I could manage. Even though I was still tired a lot, I made sure to enjoy my family, because they put that sparkle back in my eye.
    At times, all of this was very hard to do. I sometimes felt as if I was just going through the motions. I should have put more emphasis on being healthy instead of worrying so much about losing weight, but I didn’t know the way I do now what “healthy” really means. It was a struggle to meet all those demands that come with scrambling to be a wife and a mother holding down a high-pressure job, and I wasn’t looking for the balance I strive for today. I was expected to be Superwoman—at least, I expected it of myself—and now, on top of that, I hadtaken on the added commitment of trying to reform bad habits and get healthy.
    As imperfect as my efforts were, they were huge steps in the right direction. The pounds fell off. I looked less tired, a little more alive, a little happier. I wasn’t a beauty queen, but I felt there was that something special about me again, something that I remembered as a little girl, before my body began to change and my eating got out of control.
    As imperfect as my efforts were, they were huge steps in the right direction. The pounds fell off. I looked less tired, a little more alive, a little happier.
    — Mika
    Eight months after beginning my self-improvement program, I sent that vice president at NBC a picture of myself looking fit and confident. It was just for fun, my way of saying thanks for giving me the kick in the pants I needed to start changing my life. I was still so busy being a working mom that I had to grab my daughter’s crayon to address the envelope. I slapped a Post-it on the photo—no time for a real letter—and scrawled “Is this better?”
    Not long afterward, the phone rang. It was the vice president on the line. I had a job on Home Page , a new show being created for MSNBC. I was finally off the night shift!

CHAPTER TWO
THE VALUE OF A HEALTHY THIN
    M Y STORY, WITH J OE S CARBOROUGH , B RIAN S TELTER ,
    V IRGINIA C HA , R EBECCA P UHL , D ONNY D EUTSCH ,
    S USIE E SSMAN , G OVERNOR C HRIS C HRISTIE ,
    D R . N ANCY S NYDERMAN , S AM K ASS ,
    R EAR A DMIRAL J AMIE B ARNETT (RETIRED)
    T hat experience, and others since then, have taught me that weight and looks affect value. For me, it was literally the difference between “no thanks” and getting a job offer. When I was a little bit overweight and didn’t look quite as good, I struggled, and I could see that people with power just didn’t have much interest in me. But when I looked svelte and fit and put together, those same people pursued me.
    Diane fears that her weight has held her back from fulfilling her full professional potential and being adequately recognized for her value. “As a teen in the 1970s I was influenced by the feminist movement, and I believed that women would be judged on their talents and their smarts, not on how they looked,” she admitted to me. “It hasn’t turned out that way entirely, though, has it?”
    Diane is a blonde, I’m a blonde. She’s bright, I’m bright. And we’re both skilled journalists. Did her weight tank her dreams of working for a network news program? Is it the reason I succeeded and she lagged behind?

    It has been more than fifteen years since I started down the path toward a healthier weight. In the last decade, I have mostly managed to end the binge-and-starve cycle that held me captive for so long. I don’t do that anymore. I can’t. I have kids, and I have a career, and I have too many things on the line to act so foolishly. I feel good now. I try to take care of myself, and I look like I have my act together. My efforts have paid off in an exhilarating career. Today, when cake is served I usually don’t eat it. I have