reflect on them. My initial hunger came from wanting to feel important and cool and popular, because I was bullied. I wasn’t the cool kid, I wasn’t popular, I didn’t have a dad and I guess I was a bit of a geek.
But it was being a geek that drove me to hone my skills almost to the point of obsession. That obsession has made me the magician that I am today. When I started to succeed, that’s when I began to find myself. People started to like me, and like my magic.
Despite the excitement of making money for the first time, it wasn’t my main motivation. Neither was it simply about chasing fame. It was about acceptance. That was where my hunger really came from. One of the most important things I’ve taken away from making my TV show Dynamo: Magician Impossible is that people not only respected my work, but also they accepted me . I didn’t pretend to be anything I wasn’t; I took the camera to my old estate, I featured my boys, I talked about being bullied. And people still accepted me. This was really the first time I not only felt that way, but, as cheesy as it sounds, I accepted myself. I let go of trying to be cool, I let go of hoping people would like me.
I approached Dynamo: Magician Impossible in exactly the same way as I have always approached my magic; I wanted people to accept me for who I was, and they have. Magic, like so many things in my life, was the key to that.
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CHAPTER 3
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MAGIC YOU CAN TOUCH
‘STEVEN, TIME TO get up. I need a hand please.’ My Nana Lynne’s broad Bradford accent boomed outside my bedroom door just as dawn was breaking. Blearily opening my eyes, I checked the alarm clock: 5.45 a.m. I could hear the dogs barking already from the kennels down the back of the garden. I groaned and went back to sleep.
If you’ve ever wondered what living with nineteen dogs is like, I can tell you: smelly, loud and hairy. When I asked my Nana Lynne if I could stay in America with her for a few months, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for.
She had moved to Memphis with her new husband, Martin, a few years before and set up her own dog-breeding business. A champion dog breeder, my Nana Lynne has nineteen award-winning Golden Retrievers. She travels across the US from state to state in her purpose-built Winnebago, doing all of the major dog shows. As I had decided to defer my place at college for a year, I thought it would be a good experience for me to hang out in America for a bit. Although I’d pictured Disneyland and supersized fast food, I got dog shows and Pedigree Chum.
Dog breeding is competitive, but rather than, say, Crufts, the dog shows my grandma competes in are more aboutdemonstrating the standard of your dog breeding. So although there are obedience tests and obstacle courses, the focus is on the quality of the dogs themselves. And there is rather more at stake than a rosette, as winning ultimately means you can charge more money for your dogs. Whether you breed Chihuahuas or Bulldogs, the more competitions you win, the more your dogs are worth. My Nana’s dogs have won countless awards and have even been in television adverts for things like Pedigree Chum. They are amazing.
Dog shows are a serious business and they take a lot of preparation. We’d wake up early in the morning, feed and water Nana Lynne’s nineteen Golden Retrievers, take them for long walks, groom them and train them for the shows. After our own breakfast, we’d jump in the Winnebago and roll to wherever the dog show was that day. One way or another, I was constantly covered in dog hair. Before then, I’d never been the biggest animal lover but after that I can appreciate why people are so attached to them. They’re such loving, loyal creatures.
While it might have been hairy and hard work, the experience would unwittingly yet profoundly change my approach to magic. Once again magic seemed to find me… When I wasn’t running around with dogs, or chilling with my grandparents, I