the hallway and down the stairs.
âDid you just say âshitâ in French?â Mason says.
âYeah, itâs . . .â A ballet thing. âNot important. Letâs get out of here.â
We pile into Jamesâs pickup truck with Masonâs motorcycle in the bed. I sit in the backseat next to Bianca and swallow, and swallow, and swallow.
âYou okay?â she whispers.
I nod and close my eyes and tell myself what Iâm hearing in my head is Mendel, or Sondheim.
Is anything but the damn âDance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.â
6
âHELMET,â MASON SAYS, SNAPPING HIS into place.
âPlease, I know. This isnât a Lifetime movie.â
Weâre on a silent road by a cornfield, like thatâs at all descriptive when youâre in damn Nebraska. The town has started to grow in the past thirty years, hence the snobby girlsâ school, as a lot of rich people are moving here for some reason I still havenât figured outâmy mom runs social work which is probably why sheâs weirdly supportive of my goals to be a destitute Bohemianâbut the town is still like 95 percent cornfields. This time of year, itâs just a corn graveyard, dried-up creepy stalks and dry dirt. No snow yet.
Bianca and James are waiting by his pickup truck. Well, James is, leaning against the hood, looking up at the stars like heâscounting them. Biancaâs inside the car shivering and looking at the dashboard.
âAll right, climb on!â
I haul myself onto the seat and press myself into him. Iâm suddenly all conscious of my body, how my boobs and stomach must feel against his back.
So Iâm a person with aspirations of being in a motorcycle gang who has never actually been on a motorcycle before. He takes off, and I wasnât prepared for how much I would feel it through my whole body, vibrate with it, somehow feel like Iâm causing it to happen.
Itâs pretty amazing. Way to go with those based-on-nothing dreams, Etta. Good taste.
I squeeze him around the waist a little tighter than I need to as we speed up and the dead corn blurs into gray-brown wallpaper. The headlights make the road look blue, and the helmet hushes everything, and as much as Iâm enjoying being wrapped around him, a part of me wishes I were alone, that it were just me and this thing that I have no idea how to drive, yeah, but besides that just the road and me and however many stars there are.
But being here with him, this cute boy I just met yesterday, this cute boy who knows Iâm not good at food or ex-girlfriends and still wants me pressed against his back . . . I am just not really complaining, is the thing.
Especially when he pulls over the motorcycle and tugs me into some dead corn and kisses me, hands big around my ears and neck and pulling me close.
Not complaining, not at all.
I like him.
â¢Â  â¢Â  â¢
âSo. Um.â Biancaâs out of the car now, wearing Jamesâs coat and Masonâs and my scarves. The boys are drinking beers by the trunk. Like one each, this really is not going to be a Lifetime movie. But what up, good little Christian boy! Iiiinteresting.
I tuck her under my arm a little and rub her head to warm her up. She leans into me. âYeah?â I say.
âIs Mason maybe gonna be your boyfriend?â
âHa! I donât know. Aw, Iâm not laughing at you. I just donât think that much about boys.â
âOr girls?â Sheâs totally interested. Sweet girl.
âOr girls. Not with dating, anyway.â Anymore , my brain goes all melodramatically, but really itâs not like I lost my faith in love after Danielle or something. To quote Rent , âItâs not that kind of movie, honey.â
The boys come back around to stand with us and start talking about something singing-related with words I donât even know, so I drift away a few paces and twist my