Read No Phule Like An Old Phule for Free Online Page A

copy home, and think about it for twenty-four hours. If you haven’t changed your mind by tomorrow, you’re in.”
    “Yes, sir!” said the native. He practically bounced over the desk to grab the stylus out of Mayhem’s hands and quickly put his signature on the enlistment form, then handed the top copy back to the sergeant.
    “Zigger,” said Mayhem, looking at the form. “Well, you’ll want to choose a Legion name before you report for training. You might start thinking about what name you want”
    “Oh, I’ve thought about it a long time;” said Zigger. “I’ve already made up my mind…”
    “Don’t tell me,” said Mayhem. “Once you join, nobody should know your civilian name. The pay computer will keep your records so everything is in order, but I can tell you for a fact that nobody in the Legion will look into it during your actual term of service. That way, you’ll be judged by what you do in the Legion uniform: not what you’ve done before or who your parents were.” The latter was a polite fiction. In fact, a lot of Legion officers were where they were because of who their parents were and how much they’d been willing to spend to put them in an officer’s uniform. But there was no point in telling this kid the hard facts of life. He’d figure them out soon enough, probably at the hand of a snotty Junior officer who’d spent most of his life ordering servants around and considered enlisted legionnaires one more variety of servant. Mayhem didn’t particularly care, as long as he’d cashed the recruitment bonus well before the kid learned what a rotten deal he’d signed up for. Whatever happened to the kid after that was the kid’s own lookout. Mayhem grinned, just thinking about the bonus, and the kid grinned back. Sucker, thought Mayhem. I wish I had a million more like you. But you’ll do. You’ll do just fine, for now.
    “Hello, sweetie,” came Mother’s insinuating voice over the intercom in Phule’s office. “That cute Ambassador Gottesman is on the line, asking for you.”
    “Great, put him through,” said Phule. He wondered what the Alliance’s ambassador was calling about this time. By now, Phule and his Legion company had established themselves as firm favorites with the Diplomatic branch. Their successful peacekeeping mission on Landoor, then their performance in the delicate position of establishing the first Alliance presence in Zenobia, had given State two comparatively easy victories in situations where a good deal had been at stake. But it was too soon for the authorities to be considering a new mission for the Omega Mob. And it was as sure a bet as anything in the galaxy that Gottesman was not spending State’s money on an interstellar voice call just to chat up his old friend.
    Something interesting was undoubtedly on deck.
    The light came on, on Phule’s desk, then the ambassador’s voice came through. “Hello, Captain Jester. I hope all’s well out your way,” said the ambassador.
    “Coming along very smoothly, sir,” said Phule. “The Zenobians have pretty much accepted us as the logical go betweens in their attempts to establish relations with the Nanoids. And our talks with the Nanoids have progressed to the point where we can begin to address substantive issues.”
    “Good, good,” said the ambassador. “State’s hoping to get a xenological team there to handle these negotiations on a more professional basis, but until one of the two native parties makes a formal request we can’t very well stick our nose in. Have you seen any sign that either side is likely to make such a request?”
    “Nothing so far, sir,” said Phule. “But the Zenobians are still not convinced that the Nanoids aren’t off-planet intruders, and to be honest with you we can’t prove that, either. We’re moving along as best we can, but I can’t say there’s any sign of a major breakthrough yet.”
    “Well, if you’re doing your best, that’s likely to be as good a