Read Next to Forever (Never Letting Go) for Free Online

she hands me my bag she says, “Good luck, darling. And don’t worry. Remember, God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle.” Not sure what to say, so I smile and leave the store.
    When I get home, I run upstairs , taking two steps at a time. I immediately go into my bathroom and start taking the tests. I need to pee more, so I drink more water and pace the bathroom. Test after test, I tell myself that they’ll all come up negative, and once I see that, I’m drinking a whole bottle of wine and getting drunk. Being pregnant now will cause so much drama with Connor and me. We’ve never even talked about getting engaged or married or having a baby! We’re busy doing other things. I smirk. “Focus, Costella. Stop thinking about your boyfriend’s huge dick and his sexy body. Damn.” Closing my eyes, I count to ten and let out slow breaths.
    Ten tests.
    Ten pregnancy tests are done and sitting on the counter, staring at me. From the moment I place the test on the counter, my heart beats faster, and I can’t catch my breath.
    Two minutes.
    How can two minutes cause this much anxiety?
    I pace the bathroom again and try to calm down , but it actually makes me feel worse. I close my eyes and think about the last two weeks. Things have been crazy. Connor’s been in California, and I’m starting my career as a real estate agent. Our lives are beginning, and having a baby now won’t be good. I touch my stomach and let out a grunt.
    Ding!
    “Here goes nothing,” I mumble. I look down at each test and see two pink lines. “Oh shit!” Not knowing what to do, I walk backwards and hit the bathroom wall. I slide down, shaking my head. Placing my forehead on my knees, tears start coming from my eyes. I’m sobbing uncontrollably and my world is falling into pieces. There’s a burning in my throat and I feel guilty.
    Connor and I have only been together for six months, and now I’m pregnant. I take my birth control pills every day at the same time, how can this happen? With everything going on, a baby doesn’t quite fit into our lives. We’re not ready for a baby! I want to scream and cry but all I feel is numb. After sitting on the bathroom floor for what seems like hours, I get up, splash cold water on my face and walk over to Sophia’s house.
    The sun’s setting in the orange and purple majestic skies as I’m slowly walking to her house trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do. We live in the same neighborhood, and it’s nice to be near our best friends. The cool, crisp August air feels good on my skin. It’s having a calming effect on the cluster fuck going on in my mind, but I can’t shake this feeling of fear. I’m not ready to be a mom. I can’t even take care of myself most of the time! How can I take care of a baby? I’m a new twenty-two year old and still want to do so much in my life. Connor and I have plans to travel the world and going on all these adventures. We’re going to St. Lucia for Christmas, but oh my God, I’m going to be a whale by then! Hot weather and being pregnant do not go hand-in-hand.
    I know I’m being selfish , and I sound like a bitch, but I don’t know how else to feel. Of course, I’m happy, deep inside, and this baby was created from the love Connor and I have for each other.
    My head starts spinning from all the overwhelming feelings and questions overtaking me.
    Will I be a good mom?
    Will we be able to provide for our baby?
    Our family?
    Am I ready?
    It’s too much to handle , and I’m not sure how Connor’s going to react. I know he won’t blame me, but a part of me is scared that he’ll think I did it on purpose. He knows the traveling and being gone every two weeks is hard, especially since our relationship is fairly new, but I trust him and our love for each other.
    Connor.
    Thinking about him makes me smile.
    I thought love was a game and never believed in it. The guys I used to date saw me as Erin Costella —the girl addicted to drinking and