Read Never Say Goodbye for Free Online Page B

and puts my head in his hands. I instantly look down and away from him.
     “Ella, look at me. Please.” I look up to meet his gaze and quickly wipe my eyes. He seems to look genuinely worried about me. Do I need to talk to him? Tell him my deepest secrets? My whole life, the lies, the hate.
     “I’m sorry.” My whisper cries with me and I just can’t stop, the valve won’t switch off. I drop to my knees and sob so hard. I just don’t want there to be any problems. Why am I so fucked up? Why am I the problem? Luke follows me to the ground and pulls me onto his lap. He holds me and I feel him breathe me in as I try control my hysteria.
       “Ella, I don’t know why you feel this way, or why you are crying, but let me help. Let me in. I know it has only been a couple of days, but I need to know you. You are everything right now. I want to see you. Look at me.” I look to meet his gaze, and I’m sure my eyes are bright pink. His soft hands wipe my tears away and the loose strand of hair is tucked behind my ear. I feel a smile sweep my face and I can feel myself blushing.
       “That’s better. You look beautiful, cry face or no cry face.” He smiles at me, a full face of teeth and love. I find myself looking away again.
        “Ella, what is it?” He interrogates me further.
        “I hurt myself.”
        “What, where? Let me see.” I giggle subconsciously and he stares at me, with a confused look spread across his face.
       “No, you don’t understand, I hurt myself, Luke. Most days, some days.”
       “Ella, I don’t follow, what do you mean you hurt yourself?” Well done Ella, you really have to tell him now, and pray to God that he doesn’t tell anyone.
       “I’m a self-harmer.” My words are barely at a whisper. I look at his stunned reaction and stand up. I lift my shirt over my head so that I’m stood naked, except my bra and panties before him. My hair falls down around my shoulders, barely covering my bra. I shuffle my feet and look down at him; his eyes are invading my body, my soul.
I have depression. I have had it since I was thirteen years old. Ever since I started to bloom in high school, I was catapulted into who I am today. A depressed, messed up girl, who constantly looks like hell and has no friends. Who lives here every day with no hopes for tomorrow. Luke, you should go.” I turn, so that my back faces him, and put my shirt back over my head and awkwardly shuffle to find some jeans. I pull them on and open my bedroom door. “Go on, go for fucks sake. You won’t want me now. Just like everybody else.”
       “Ella, I-”
      I shake my head and look up at him. “Luke, just save the sympathy, and you can save the emotions, too. You won’t win.”
       “Let me speak, God damn it!” His words make me jump and it makes me thankful my parents are two floors below us. The anger in his voice brings back my tears, stinging already sore eyes with the saltiness of them.
       “Sorry.” I whisper. He walks towards me and gently lifts my hand from the handle. Slowly shutting the door, he pushes me up to the cold wood and holds both my hands. His eyes penetrate mine and he looks hurt, as his nose grazes mine, he sighs deeply. I take the time to breathe him in.
       “I don’t know why you feel that way, I’m sorry you suffered during high school. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner. I always noticed you, Ella. That’s not even a fucking lie. I know you were in math with me; you always chewed your pen, man that bugged the shit out of me. I noticed when you weren’t in school, when your desk was empty. I always noticed when you were having a bad day. You always wore your hood up if you were sad. You always wore bright colors when you were happy. I know I can’t make you better, but even though your body is covered in faint white lines that show