calls.” She pauses. “Yet.” Her smile is warm and she gives a light laugh. I don’t know why, but I find myself grinning back. She is warm and friendly and I am about to be a huge waste of her time. I’m thinking it’s going to take a maximum of five minutes for her to conclude I am wholly unsuited to providing the type of service Late Night Calls offers. She squeezes my knee, her eyes soften and she looks intently into mine. I think that might be a record for interviews not even five minutes and I can feel a ‘don’t call us’ heading my way. “Come on into my office; let’s give you a test run!” This woman has managed to shock me twice in the same day. She grabs my hand and practically hauls me across the room into her office and closes the door before I can change my mind. “Darling, don’t look so nervous, you know what we do yes?” She raises her perfectly drawn on eyebrow at her query.
“Yes Miss.” I quietly reply. She raises both eyebrows in surprise and almost imperceptibly utters “interesting” under her breath.
“Well, I will tell you the whys and wherefores, we will have a little trial and go from there.” She is very encouraging and her face is alight with misplaced enthusiasm.
“Yes Miss.” I hesitate and suck in a shallow breath. “I’ll try.”
“I run an exclusive service.” Mags continues proudly. “Top service, top quality and top price.” She grins. “You work the hours you want, though I would like a minimum of one hour per day, I provide the phone and calls are directed through my switchboard. This protects you and the client. You can work wherever you like, you can come here if that suits and you can earn up to a hundred pound an hour if you can keep them on the phone that long.” She chuckles and I’m starting to wish I was up to the task. She continues, “ . . . or more if you provide one of the speciality services.” At the obvious horror my face must picture, she quickly adds, “Oh darling, I don’t mean that sort of service, I’m no Madam, although I’ve been called worse.” She laughs again. “I just mean we have dedicated lines that cater for specific tastes.” She pauses and eyes me carefully. “Any questions?”
I am actually speechless, another indication of my unsuitability for job totally reliant on speech.
“Alright then, let me hear your audition piece?” She fixes me with her expectant kind eyes.
“Oh.” I breathe. “Well, I’m not sure.” I hesitate and can feel my face flush.
Sensing my extreme discomfort Mags smiles and hands me her phone. “Use this as a prop if it helps, imagine it’s an actual call, all you have to do is imagine.” She is sweet and encouraging but I am so out of my depth, I look at the phone in my shaking hand, sigh and hand it back to her. “Listen, why don’t I let you listen to a few calls first, a few samples as it were, once the initial shock is over, I’m sure you’ll get the idea . . . what do you think?” She places her hand over mine but doesn’t take the phone back.
I am not given to running at the first sign of a challenge even if I am so very far from my comfort zone and I have no idea why she is being so kind but I don’t want to disappoint her.
“Yes Miss, that’s very kind, I’ll do that.” I am too embarrassed to raise my eyes to meet hers at this point, so she takes the phone, presses a few numbers and hands it back to me.
I am thankful she leaves the room as I put the phone to my ear and began to listen to the sample calls. It turns out I wouldn’t need that much imagination as the calls give me vivid flashbacks to many a conversation in the kitchen. The descriptions are full on and the details are explicit, extremely explicit. It isn’t that I doubted my imagination or my ability to be detailed in my descriptions, but my actual lack of sexual experience is undoubtedly going to be a deal breaker here and I know it. Still, as my face continues to flush I continue to
John B. Garvey, Mary Lou Widmer