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so empty and well, it was like I was back there. I was alone again, and the darkness was encompassing me. I couldn’t get out,” I whispered.
    His arms went around me again. “You’ll never be alone, CJ. You have Mitch, Megan and Emily. You have me.”
    “Thank you, Dev. You’re always saving me.”
    “Should we call Dr. Stone?” he asked with worry still in his voice.
    I smiled weakly. “No. I’m fine, really. Don’t call him over nothing. Come on, we can put your stuff in the guest room upstairs.”
    “Chris, this wasn’t ‘nothing.’ I really think we should call him.”
    “Devin, I’m fine. Don’t even dream of calling Dr. Stone.” His suitcase was resting by the door and I picked it up and pulled it toward the stairs.
    “I’ll get it,” Devin said, pulling the suitcase out of my hand.
    “I’m not incapable of carrying your suitcase,” I said, walking up the stairs in front of him.
    “I know you’re not, but a gentleman always helps a lady.”
    “But I was helping you, you dolt.”
    “Whatever, it still applies to this situation,” he said as we walked down the hallway toward the guest room. He put his things down and turned to look at me. “Are you sure you’re all right? I really think we should call Doctor Stone.”
    “No. We don’t need to call him. If anything, I’ll talk to him next week. I’m fine. Let’s just drop it, okay? Forget about it. I’m not some fragile glass figurine that will break if you say or do the wrong thing. I don’t need Doctor Stone to glue me back together. I’m not broken.” But what if I am broken? What if I truly have been shattered into a million pieces and I really do need help piecing myself back together?
    Note to Self: Ask Doctor Stone about this.
    “Fine, you win. I’ll forget about it,” Devin said, setting his suitcase down.
    “Hey, Dev?”
    “Yeah?”
    “Can I ask you something?” I asked.
    “Sure, shoot.”
    “Dr. Stone wants me to ask Mitchell or you about something. But I don’t think I could ask Mitch. You know what happened. You know everything that’s happened. But if you laugh, I will never forgive you.”
    “CJ, I won’t laugh. You can ask me anything and you know you will always get an honest answer.” He sat down on the bed and motioned for me to join him.
    “Well, we were talking in session today about my parents, and Dr. Stone said something that bothered me. I don’t think you can know something about a person who’s not here anymore. What I’m trying to say is, Dr. Stone said my parents would be proud of me. Of what I’ve become, how we all turned out. But how can he say it, when he couldn’t possibly know?”
    “Chris,” Devin sighed. “He’s right. Your parents would have been so proud of you.”
    “I didn’t go to Yale, like I was supposed to. I haven’t even graduated college yet! My sister hates me, and I still feel like half a person. How could anyone be proud of that?”
    Devin reached out and grabbed my hand. “Christy, you’ve managed to keep this family together by sacrificing something you really wanted. You don’t think your parents would be proud of that? Do you remember when you were in ninth grade and you had that performance of Robin Hood?”
    “Yeah, you gave me flowers at the dress rehearsal instead of the actual performance.”
    Devin chuckled. “Yeah, and then you gave your flowers to Emily later at her elementary orchestra play. She was the only one who didn’t get flowers, so you gave her yours, saying they were from all of us. Do you remember that?”
    I nodded.
    “Do you remember what your mom whispered to you?”
    I nodded again, tears coming to my eyes. “She said she was proud of me.”
    “And she would be proud of you now. So don’t think just because you didn’t go to Yale and you’re not graduating yet they wouldn’t be proud. Because of what you gave up, you were able to keep your family together. Chris, they would be proud and happy to see the sacrifices