make fun of the sultanâs shadow like that. As for Sara, she was happy to be left in peace at last, although she would have liked a chance to play with kids her own age.
âIf walking around with a shaved head was the price to pay for being free from the matronâs whip, that was a good deal,â the doyenne added, her grandmotherly pragmatism reflected in the set of her jaw.
But that wasnât all: Bertha also ran hot stones over Saraâs chest to delay the development of her breasts. To tell the truth, this routine was no surprise to the girl: her mother had done it to her several times, too. Except that the matron wasnât trying to slow down the rapid growth of a woman. She wanted to bring her son back to life. She wanted to turn Sara into the boy she had become by chance: Nebu.
âWhy did you go along with it?â I asked the doyenne.
Sara told the saga of her life without losing her smile; she took another pinch of tobacco, as if there were nothing strange about her story. She was thrilled that she had tricked the omniscient Sultan Njoya, and she still laughed about how a simple garment had changed the life of a little girl.
âEven the witch was completely taken in by it,â Sara told me. âI was a perfect little boy.â
âAnd did you like that?â
âWhat do you think?â
Her transformation into a boy had freed not just one but two women from the tragedies of their lives. If the tears that streamed down the matronâs face each time she raised the whip to hit her allowed Sara to guess what was going on, only later would she really understand what it meant for Bertha to call her, forever after, âmy son.â
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9
The Labyrinths of Childhood
The exquisite pleasure of being someone else, thatâs what finally freed Sara from her suffering. The girl entered into a house, excuse me, into a life, where she didnât meet any children her own age, but where her ears were filled with a thousand stories. She entered into an existence where a specific task was assigned to her. Sara entered, in fact, into a house of mystery, a house of a thousand whispers, where silence was always menacing, filled with invisible ghosts. By an absurd stroke of luck, the sultan was in need of a shadowâthe previous one had quit, preferring to live out his exile in the cityâs poorer quarters.
The little girl had to get used to the name Bertha gave her. Happily, her entrance into Njoyaâs inner circle was facilitated by her decision to remain silent. The sultanâs secrets, along with her name, would remain buried in her mouth as if in a tombâjust as Bamum tradition required.
âAh, I was only a slave,â Sara told me. âNothing but a slave!â
Was she serious? I could have replied that since slavery had been abolished in the protectorate by colonial decree, her status was rather ill defined. There are questions that must be asked, especially if one has spent time in America.
âTell me,â I asked her, âwhat did it mean to be a slave in those days?â
âI was the sultanâs property. Only,â she added, raising her finger to emphasize her point, âhe wasnât my master!â
Did Sara realize I didnât understand her answer?
âYour silhouette doesnât belong to you, does it?â she continued with a smile.
âNo.â
âBut it follows you everywhere.â
âYes, it follows me everywhere.â
âExcept that,â she added, giving a quick look around, âsometimes you donât see it. Well, thatâs the kind of life I had. The life of a shadow.â
Sara might have saved herself a lot of trouble had she answered Berthaâs calls with less impertinence. The matron was exploring the unexpected consequences of her renewed motherhood. Breaking with tradition, Bertha insisted that the sultanâs shadow spend his nights âat home.â What a strange