grown-up Ariella, and he hurried after her, loyal Laika following in his tracks, and she, who heard his steps from behind, even before he could consider placing a hand on her shoulder, a thing he wouldnât do, turned around smiling. Oh, excuse me, he said, I thought you were someone else. What a coincidence! she laughed. I really am someone else!
Another moment he stood there, maybe even with his mouth open. There are really great responses to that sentence, amazing comebacks, but they only show up after the fact. She smiled again, turned, and walked away. Motti and Laika also turned around and returned home. No one was waiting in the stairwell (and why would someone be waiting?), and the time was only three in the afternoon. Even though he wasnât hungry at all, he prepared a salad and a bit of rice with vegetables: a TV dinner. This was a very balanced meal, and he ate every last bite, albeit without appetite, almost out of obligation. Indeed, the body needs all sorts of things, carbohydrates and proteins and minerals and a soft touch now and then, and so forth, but the mind is like a child, it eats almost only sugar. This is a physiological fact.
18
Maybe, when they really get to know each other, Motti will discover that sheâs one of those cheerful women, always happy, but not out of ignorance or blindness, rather out of a good and proper view of the world, out of the hopeâthe beliefâthat we always have the ability to fix things, and that every day there is someone out there who is actually doing it, even though not everyone sees and these things arenât reported by the media. During the day sheâll be in pants and a comfortable shirt, her hair either gathered up or loose, all over the place, sheâll walk with a big bag and in it, letâs say, cigarettes and a lighter and a telephone for calling him when she wants to hear his voice, and also a bag of food for stray dogs or street cats. Sheâll walk around and hum pleasant melodies as if absentminded, giving passersby a kind expression, everything she does sheâll do out of casual happiness. Perhaps thatâs how sheâll dress, and perhaps the contents of her bag will indeed be as imagined (cigarettes and food for dogs, etc.), but her mood, heâll discover once he gets to know her better, isnât quite as he presumed: sheâll be a little morose and pensive, the evils of the world will weigh heavily on her until she canât bear it anymore, but sheâll go on fighting for everything worth fighting for regardless. Almost to the point of exhaustion, every day. And only at night, when theyâll rest in bed together, sheâll suddenly let go. Motti, sheâll say to him, my Mordechai, sometimes I think that only you give me the strength to carry on, and heâll say, nonsense, my beauty. I justâ¦Iâm not the issue here. Itâs all you, all of it.
But deep inside heâll smile and hope that itâs nevertheless true.
And if thatâs how sheâll be, maybe when theyâre together her hairstyle wonât be as described above, but always smartly pulled back, to be let down only at home in the evening. Held tight in a rubber band, lest the worldâs stench get into in it. Everyone who meets her will say, Ariella is a tough woman. Good but tough as nails, you wonât find a drop of gentleness in her. Only Motti will know the truth, that she has another side entirely, and itâs kept just for him and no one else. Okay, okay, maybe itâs not kept just for him, but only in his presence, when he holds her at night, is she free, does she let go, breathe deeply, laugh when he jokes tenderly.
Maybe sheâll be, letâs say, a social worker, deadly serious. Sheâll run some center for abused girls, sheâll guide them with a firm hand, sheâll give them exactly what they need, structure and clear rules, but if one of them breaks down sobbing, Ariella
Another moment he stood there, maybe even with his mouth open. There are really great responses to that sentence, amazing comebacks, but they only show up after the fact. She smiled again, turned, and walked away. Motti and Laika also turned around and returned home. No one was waiting in the stairwell (and why would someone be waiting?), and the time was only three in the afternoon. Even though he wasnât hungry at all, he prepared a salad and a bit of rice with vegetables: a TV dinner. This was a very balanced meal, and he ate every last bite, albeit without appetite, almost out of obligation. Indeed, the body needs all sorts of things, carbohydrates and proteins and minerals and a soft touch now and then, and so forth, but the mind is like a child, it eats almost only sugar. This is a physiological fact.
18
Maybe, when they really get to know each other, Motti will discover that sheâs one of those cheerful women, always happy, but not out of ignorance or blindness, rather out of a good and proper view of the world, out of the hopeâthe beliefâthat we always have the ability to fix things, and that every day there is someone out there who is actually doing it, even though not everyone sees and these things arenât reported by the media. During the day sheâll be in pants and a comfortable shirt, her hair either gathered up or loose, all over the place, sheâll walk with a big bag and in it, letâs say, cigarettes and a lighter and a telephone for calling him when she wants to hear his voice, and also a bag of food for stray dogs or street cats. Sheâll walk around and hum pleasant melodies as if absentminded, giving passersby a kind expression, everything she does sheâll do out of casual happiness. Perhaps thatâs how sheâll dress, and perhaps the contents of her bag will indeed be as imagined (cigarettes and food for dogs, etc.), but her mood, heâll discover once he gets to know her better, isnât quite as he presumed: sheâll be a little morose and pensive, the evils of the world will weigh heavily on her until she canât bear it anymore, but sheâll go on fighting for everything worth fighting for regardless. Almost to the point of exhaustion, every day. And only at night, when theyâll rest in bed together, sheâll suddenly let go. Motti, sheâll say to him, my Mordechai, sometimes I think that only you give me the strength to carry on, and heâll say, nonsense, my beauty. I justâ¦Iâm not the issue here. Itâs all you, all of it.
But deep inside heâll smile and hope that itâs nevertheless true.
And if thatâs how sheâll be, maybe when theyâre together her hairstyle wonât be as described above, but always smartly pulled back, to be let down only at home in the evening. Held tight in a rubber band, lest the worldâs stench get into in it. Everyone who meets her will say, Ariella is a tough woman. Good but tough as nails, you wonât find a drop of gentleness in her. Only Motti will know the truth, that she has another side entirely, and itâs kept just for him and no one else. Okay, okay, maybe itâs not kept just for him, but only in his presence, when he holds her at night, is she free, does she let go, breathe deeply, laugh when he jokes tenderly.
Maybe sheâll be, letâs say, a social worker, deadly serious. Sheâll run some center for abused girls, sheâll guide them with a firm hand, sheâll give them exactly what they need, structure and clear rules, but if one of them breaks down sobbing, Ariella
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