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ends of these scales. It's more common to encounter people in the middle—for instance, who like living with a lover but still prefer to think of themselves as autonomous individuals, or people who pay close attention to how well potential partners fit together but still make relationship decisions themselves.
    POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP STRUCTURES
    On the surface, the simplest-seeming poly configuration is a triad (three people who are all deeply involved with one another) or a vee (one person, called the "pivot," with two romantic partners). Triads and vees may or may not live together, and may or may not be open to new partners. In many—perhaps most—cases, triads start out as vees, and then a companionship or a romance develops between the two partners of the pivot person.
    A quad is a poly relationship involving four people. Quads often, but not always, form when two couples come together. They might also form when one person has three partners, when the members of a couple each start an independent relationship with a new person who's single, or even when four previously unpartnered people start a relationship. The connections within a quad can vary all over the map. There are quads in which every member is intimate with all three others; there are Ns, which often form when two couples come together with only one intimate relationship between the couples; and asterisks, where one person has three (or more!) partners not involved with each other. Like triads, quads may or may not live together, and they may or may not be open to new romantic connections.
    An interesting pattern we have both seen with quads that form from two couples is that after a time, the two couples may swap partners, and the quad breaks up. Sometimes people in a couple know they have problems, but rather than deal with them directly, they try to start new relationships in a structure that is "safe." If, for example, the wife in one couple dates the husband in the other, while his wife dates the husband from the first couple, they may believe that nobody will ever feel left out and the other couple will have no reason to threaten them (because, presumably, the other couple wants to preserve their present setup too). In practice, the new relationships can highlight problems and unmet needs in both couples, with the result being a repartnering and breakup.
    Larger configurations exist as well. Quite common are open networks, where each person may have several partners—some of whom may be involved with one another and others not. Relationship networks tend to be loosely structured and often don't have a defining hierarchy.
    Members of some poly groups consider themselves married to one another. Plural marriage is not legally recognized in Western countries, but some people in poly relationships call each other husbands or wives, hold commitment ceremonies, exchange rings, or do other things that symbolize their serious relationship with each other. Franklin, for example, has exchanged rings with two of his current partners. Other polyamorous groupings don't consider themselves a single family.
    Some groups have an internal hierarchy, in which certain relationships (often between a married couple) take precedence over others. This version of poly is often called "primary/secondary," and we talk about it in chapter 11. Other groups have no assumption of a power hierarchy. That does not necessarily suggest each person is treated the same as every other, but that no one relationship always takes precedence. Each is allowed to seek its own level, and new relationships are not necessarily expected to be subordinate. We talk about these in chapter 13.
    Different groups have different expectations about agreements and rules. Somrathere polyamorous relationships are rules-based, with detailed prescriptions on behavior, including sexual behavior, between different partners. Others don't impose rules on their members. Some include a "veto clause," which permits