you out for dinner once youâre a little more mobile.â
âGreat,â I say. âThat sounds great, Mr. Morrison. Weâll be sure to keep you posted.â
Clara and her mom disappear again into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Don. There is suddenly a thick silence between us, and I flounder in it, trapped. I am afraid to look directly at him. It freaks me out to be alone with a father, anyoneâs father. I am suddenly soaked in sweat. I wonder if he can smell my fear.
Clara comes back into the room after an eternity with a platter of sandwiches, announcing that we are going to eat lunch in the living room because thatâs easier for me.
âFine with me,â Don says agreeably.
âGood thinking, sweetie!â exclaims Susan.
Then we are eating the sandwiches, Claraâs parents treating her like she is a total genius for having the idea to eat in the living room. It is easy to see why Clara is so positive. Her parents are in awe of her. They must be wondering as they eat what right I have to be under the same roof as her.
Still, they were trying. They leave an hour later, Susan insisting that they donât want to tire me out too much. Like it matters. Like there might be some other project that I will soon begin. When, actually, I am finished for the day.
Clara gives me a big hug when they have driven away.
My mom told me she thinks youâre adorable.
âI need a nap,â I say, hiding the fact that I am on the verge of total collapse.
Shall I open the sleeper?
But I had already settled myself on the sofa and tipped sideways, sprawling lengthwise end to end. I am seconds from sleep. The minute I let go, my brain helpfully provides me with this:
I know that the beetle has climbed into my fatherâs double bed in the Grove Street apartment; I hear the mattress rustling from my own bedroom. I hear its wings crackle and scrape together as it settles itself down. I am afraid of what will happen when my dad comes home from his date. I know I have to warn him, but I am afraid to leave my room, afraid the beetle will scuttle off Dadâs bed and attack me. But I have to try.
So I move fearfully in the dark and find myself at the door of the apartment, where I hear that someone is outside, about to come in. A key turns in the door, and there is Dadâor is it Dad? It is Dad, but he has two beetle claws instead of hands, and in one claw heâs holding an open can of Bud and there is lipstick all over his face, and through my fear I manage to warn him in a strangled whisper that there is a big beetle waiting for him in his bed.
âItâs not in my bed,â Dad says, chuckling. âItâs right there behind you, Charlie-boy.â
He laughs harder, and the whirring starts up and I cover my eyes, afraid to turn around. Something pokes me, hard, on the back of my right leg. I want to scream, but I donâtâI keep the scream silent so that Dad wonât hear it. He comes inside, unafraid, and I run past him, out the door into the darkness. I stumble blindly down the metal stairs, leaving him to fend for himself with the beetle that wants his bed.
SIX
Dad never got anywhere with Liamâs kindergarten teacher. Apparently, she was a newlywed. She appreciated Dadâs willingness to meet her after school, but he came back to the apartment from his meeting telling us that she had âa bone up her assâ and was âtoo strict,â âtoo picky,â and even âprejudiced against boys.â
âDid you talk some sense into her?â Liam asked hopefully.
âTry not to piss her off for a few days,â Dad instructed. âI donât want to talk to her again. She gave me a headache with all her whining. She did admit that youâre smart, Leemster. We both know who you get that from.â
Later, I approached him while he was grinning at the television and watching his favorite team winâthe Oakland Raiders.