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in the army and had to state his religion. When pressed to explain it, he came up on the spur of the moment with what he thought was a suitable answer.
    ‘Subsequently, whenever there was a church parade and the command came for any Mid-Yugoslavian Original Baptists to fall out he was the only one able to respond and for ever after he was left to his own devices. You can hardly march to a non-existent church all by yourself. It proved to be an unforeseen bonus.’
    ‘I hope you are not suggesting I use the same explanation to the powers that be in France,’ said the Director. ‘Those in the higher echelons will treat it with the utmost suspicion. The fact that it is inEnglish will make it even harder to accept.’
    ‘Be that as it may,’ said Monsieur Pamplemousse. ‘It is Mr Pickering’s opinion that while the first duty of any citizen must be to his country, a person’s religion is his or her own business and no one else’s, and I would agree with that.
    ‘Our American cousins may wear their hearts on their sleeves, but there is something very fundamental in the way they bring their children up to revere the Stars and Stripes and reiterate their allegiance to it, hand on heart, at every opportunity, irrespective of their religious beliefs.’
    ‘Hmmph!’ The Director sought refuge in another grunt. He consulted a list on his desk. ‘Before we go any further there is one other matter which needs investigation.’
    ‘ Monsieur wishes to know my mother’s aunt’s maiden name?’
    ‘No, Pamplemousse, that will not be necessary, although once again it has to do with your P27. Under the heading “distinguishing features” you entered the fact that you have a mole on your right knee. I have been charged with ascertaining whether or not that is so.’
    Monsieur Pamplemousse found himself mentally counting up to ten. He couldn’t help wondering what Dr Livingstone would have made of such a question all those years ago on the banks of the Ujiji. For twopins he would have joined the Director’s secretary, wherever she was.
    ‘In these troubled times, Aristide,’ said the Director, sensing the other’s hesitation, ‘one cannot be too careful.’
    ‘Perhaps Monsieur would like to check me for hidden weapons while he is at it,’ said Monsieur Pamplemousse. ‘I may have a nail file concealed about my person.’
    Reluctantly he reached for his zip.
    ‘There is no need to remove your outer garments, Pamplemousse,’ said Monsieur Leclercq hastily. ‘A cursory glance will be quite sufficient. Perhaps you could simply roll up the right trouser leg?’
    Having glanced over his shoulder in order to make sure all the blinds were safely in place, he opened a drawer in his desk and produced a torch which he held aloft with a flourish between thumb and forefinger.
    ‘I find this whole business distasteful enough as it is. I have been drawn into it much against my will, but our country is in peril. We are up against forces that will stop at nothing and there is an amber alert. I would ask Matron to perform the task but this whole operation must remain top secret.’
    Following the beam of light, Pommes Frites joined forces with the Director, gazing with interest at his master’s kneecap. There were times when there was no accounting for human behaviour. Unawareof what the problem might be, he wondered if a good lick would help, although he had tried once before to remove the spot and nothing had happened.
    ‘Perhaps Monsieur would like to borrow my camera?’ suggested Monsieur Pamplemousse.
    ‘That will not be necessary, Pamplemousse,’ said the Director stiffly. ‘My word will be sufficient.’
    ‘I hope the anonymous person, whoever he or she is, will be of the same mind,’ said Monsieur Pamplemousse, as he set about tidying his person.
    ‘We shall never know,’ said the Director soberly, ‘and I am not at liberty to ask. Suffice to say, he is second only to the President in terms of power.’
    ‘I hope