Read Mockingbird for Free Online Page B

the process of a funeral and burial and doing things like putting wreaths on grave sites help give Closure.
    Devon was cremated so that will not work for me.
    Some people go to church.
    It’s not Sunday, I point out .
    I mean on Sundays do you and your father go to church?
    I shrug . We used to go to one with the Boy Scouts but not anymore. Now we just drive past it.
    Church might be helpful. Or seeing a counselor.
    I Look At The Person. You’re a counselor. I see you.
    I know but your dad might like to go see a counselor too.
    Can he come see you about Closure?
    Sometimes we can do that but I’m really here to help the students. But talking can help both of you a lot, she says. Talking about your feelings.
    That will not work for me. I don’t like Let’s Talk About It.
    Now Caitlin —
    Is there anything else ?
    Well if nothing else, Mrs. Brook says , time helps.
    But I didn’t ask if there was nothing else. I asked if there was anything else. I start shaking my hands because the world is spinning and if I shake my hands faster than the rest of the world then the world’s spinning doesn’t seem so fast. Devon says it makes no sense but it makes sense to me.
    It’s something you have to find for yourself because everyone is different. We all have to find our own special way.
    I thought I was the one who was special and everyone else was normal. I almost ask her what normal people do but I suppose that would not work for me anyway. That doesn’t help.
    She touches my shaking hand and I pull it away. Something will come to you Caitlin, she says. There’s a solution out there with your name written on it.
    I look around her room for my name.
    I’m sorry, she says, I don’t mean that your name will actually be written on anything . But you’ll think of something.
    I give a big sigh and say, Fine. I will figure it out myself.
    But I have no clue how.
    We walk together on the playground and Mrs. Brook talks but I can’t hear her. I’m thinking too hard about Closure. When the bell rings I stand there sucking my sleeve until I remember I have a maybe friend and I go find Michael. He’s on the jungle gym but comes over to me when I do our wave.
    Hi Caitlin.
    Do you know how to get to the state of experiencing an emotional conclusion to a difficult life event?
    What?
    Closure. Do you know how to get there?
    No. But I’ll ask my dad. He’s good at finding stuff.
    Really? My dad isn’t. Is your dad extra smart or something?
    He shrugs . I don’t know. He seems extra happy.
    You’re lucky. My dad’s sad all the time.
    Michael shakes his head . I don’t feel lucky. I feel bad because I’m not happy all the time like he is. Like I’m supposed to be. He always wants to do something like throw a football or play Frisbee or go bowling and sometimes I just don’t want to do that stuff because I’m sad.
    Maybe my dad and your dad should get together and become normal.
    Maybe.
    So will you ask him?
    Ask him what?
    About Closure?
    That’s a hard word.
    It’s like closing. Only it’s Closure.
    Okay. I’ll ask him.
    Thank you. I smile. That’s MY manners. And that reminds me. Here are YOUR stickers. They’re of the planets. Some of them glow in the dark.
    He looks at the stickers. Whoa. I LOVE these! Thank you Caitlin!
    You’re welcome.
     
     
    When Dad drives me home from school I look at the sign in front of the church we used to go to. It says, OUR HEARTS are still with the families of Julianne, Devon and Roberta. Except OUR HEARTS couldn’t do anything to save Devon’s Heart. Maybe that’s why Dad drives past.
    I need to figure out Closure.

CHAPTER 13
    TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD
    I’M STANDING IN FRONT OF Devon’s door. Whenever I don’t know what to do I go to Devon’s room and ask him. I REALLY want to know about Closure. And I don’t know who else to ask.
    Except Devon’s not here.
    But his room is.
    I haven’t been inside since Dad slammed the door on The Day Our Life Fell Apart. I know that means