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there.”
    â€œOne more thing . . .”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œIt would be helpful if you started reading the Bible.”
    â€œYou’ve got to be kidding me.”
    â€œYou don’t have to read much. Just enough to show that you want to learn.”
    I hesitate.
    â€œWe can do it together. I’ll help you.”
    â€œDeal.”
    I hang up and immediately call Seth’s house. He’s going to laugh his ass off.
    There’s no answer. Then I call Margaret. Neither is home. I try Seth’s cell. He picks up and I hear giggling in the background.
    â€œHey, dude,” I say.
    â€œHey, man. What’s up?”
    â€œNothing. Just calling to see how the first week went.”
    I hear a girl’s voice in the background and then it sounds like the phone is being muffled under someone’s hand.
    â€œHello?” I say.
    â€œYeah, Ben. Actually I’ve got to go. Busy night.”
    â€œOh. Okay. Are you with Margaret?”
    â€œUm, yeah. Look, I’ll give you a call tomorrow.”
    I open my mouth to say, cool, later, but he already hung up. Uh, yeah. Missed you guys too. My week was strange and I have to lie to everyone in order to fit in. Thanks for asking.

 
    Â 
    Chapter 7
    Jesus Was a Zombie
    At 3 p.m. on Saturday, Tess comes over with her own Bible. Because we don’t actually have one. I asked my mom and the best she could come up with was some self-help book about finding spirituality. Whatever that means.
    My mom opens the door and invites Tess in. She asks Tess a few questions about herself. You know, the way annoying adults do sometimes. But Tess is like an adult expert. She’s funny. She compliments one of the pictures on the wall and they talk about it. I mean, I’m polite with adults. Tess almost is an adult. She says to my mom, “Oh, really? A woodcut? The lines are beautiful.” I don’t even know what a woodcut is and the thing hangs in my house.
    I give my mom a look that says, enough , and she takes the hint.
    â€œWell, I’ll leave you two alone. Let your dad know if you get hungry. He’ll throw together some snacks. I’ve got a few errands to run.”
    As we walk upstairs, Tess asks, “Your dad cooks?”
    â€œMy dad is an awesome cook.”
    â€œWow. My dad can hardly make a sandwich.”
    â€œHe works from home, so it’s easier for him to do stuff like that. Plus, my mom hates cooking. She’d order take out every night if she was left in charge.”
    â€œThat’s what my dad does when my mom leaves to visit my grandma in Lone Tree,” says Tess.
    I open the door to my room and Tess walks in ahead of me. She looks around, turning in a complete circle, and starts touching things on my shelves.
    â€œWhat’s this?” she asks.
    â€œA poster I got at this show in Boston. They had the world’s top magicians all together for one night. It was incredible.”
    â€œWow. Can you do any of the stuff they do?”
    â€œThe really easy stuff. But their easy tricks for the average person are really hard, so it’s still pretty good. My friend Margaret is better though.”
    â€œThat’s the girl you hung out with back home, right?”
    â€œYeah. She and I did magic together all the time.”
    â€œWere you guys, like, an item?” Tess asks.
    â€œNo. Just friends.”
    She sort of nods her head and then takes her shoes off and sits with her legs crossed on my bed.
    I just sort of stand there. Do I sit next to her? Or on my desk chair? I mean, is it weird to sit next to a girl on a bed, even if it’s your bed, and she sat there first?
    â€œI could do some magic for you, if you want,” I say, still standing.
    â€œUm, Ben? How about you sit?”
    She moves over and pats the bed next to her and then takes out her Bible.
    This is the first time any girl other than Margaret has been in my room, let alone on my bed, and the first thing