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could he when it was in the very ether surrounding them? He looked away from her eyes, knelt down a bit to keep his hips away from hers. But her breasts still felt like a firebrand against his chest. Her breath against his neck still did things to him, things he’d convinced himself she couldn’t do anymore when distance made it easy to deceive himself.
    And her hair. It was shorter now, but still soft, still the sweet scent of lilacs that made his eyes close over unshed tears as he suppressed a moan of pleasure.
    The embrace was so comfortable, but it hurt, too. As soon as he touched her, as soon as he felt her body against his, he knew she was right. And he knew he was so very wrong.
    Some things never did change.
    Then the moment was gone, if only because Ian had mercifully ventured outside to sweep up the glass and announced his presence by loudly clearing his throat. Gabe lifted his head, watched her look at Ian over her shoulder with a chuckle. Then she turned back to him and rolled her eyes. He gave her an answering smile he hoped said something like, This isn’t breaking my heart at all. When she released his shoulders and stepped back a bit, his hands lingered for a second before falling away from the curve of her hips. Distance again. A blessing and a curse.
    "How ya been, babe?" she whispered. He saw the second she realized what she’d said. That old endearment stung like a whip and it was probably written all over his face how much he missed hearing it.
"Great!" He stuffed his fists back in his jeans pockets. "Really great. How about you?"
    She shrugged a shoulder and gave him a crooked grin. "Well, I'm a published author now. Or, at least I will be once the book gets out there on shelves. Got some good reviews coming in though."
    The excitement on her face was infectious. He found himself smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. "Yeah, I know. Jackie told me and I told her I want the first copy. I knew you could do it, sweetheart..."
    Her eyes wavered a bit as soon as he called her ‘sweetheart’. So did his smile. He should have remembered to be careful. He should have been used to the idea that this was what they were now. Familiar strangers. But that was feeling more and more like a lie. It was starting to feel like all the time apart was an illusion. All the time apart was a horrible nightmare, and this was when he would wake up. Any minute now they would all start laughing and the ruse would end. He would wrap his arms around her and walk her into the house, whispering in her ear all the things they would do when they were alone just like he used to. Any moment now he would touch her and not hold back. She would touch him and not pull away.
    Times like this he wished he'd never discovered how much she'd wanted him once upon a time. Maybe he wouldn't realize so painfully what was missing, what he'd lost, how addicted he used to be to her desire and love for him.
    Used to . That was the important part. He'd moved on. So had she. Yet, still, something like this could remain. Must be like a star, when the light had long since burned out, yet the glow remained to tease fallible human eyes from a distance. Even Jackie and Ian could see it. Everyone would probably be able to see it.
    But it was still dead. And they were going to let it stay that way.
    "All done. Perfectly safe now," Ian said. He nodded to Nicole and Gabriel. Nicole was the first to disengage from their sad little stare down, gingerly taking the steps before walking into the house and becoming a soft silhouette against the shadowy glow of the entranceway.
    "Come on in, man," Ian said, giving him a world of unspoken support and understanding when he patted him on the back and ushered him into his home.
     
    ***
     
    Nicole licked her lips as she stepped inside, out of sight of him, and towards the bathroom, her legs weighted down like sandbags were wrapped around her wobbly ankles.
    It was like she'd borrowed this body and had forgotten what it