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I refer to as the ‘Attach Catch’. Caught up in the belief that I couldn’t be happy (or some other positive emotion) until certain things in my life were fixed, changed or improved first: I’ll be happy when I get my new home ; I’ll be happy when I’ve redecorated my new home ; I’ll be happy when I’ve paid off the mortgage and so on. Left unseen, the mind can postpone your peace and happiness and be busy forever.
    As an aside I still highly recommend goal setting, as having a clear purpose and doing what you enjoy can all help you to make the most of your gift of life. I still have many goals that light me up and drive me forward. I’m not sure if I would spend so many hours writing my books, for example, if I didn’t set challenging goals to work towards. However, what is downright destructive to your inner calm is being attached to any of your goals ever happening. Attachment puts your positive feelings on hold until some future date in time and also limits your effectiveness in engaging in life fully.
    The Attach Catch gets you totally caught
up in the mind, making you miss the
present moment, and unnecessarily
postpone your peace and prosperity.
Attachment and the compulsion to overthink
    There is a direct relationship between being attached to things being a certain way and the compulsion to overthink. Whenever your mind believes that it needs something to be OK, it becomes very active in trying to figure out how to get away from where you are now and into a more appealing time in the future. Attachment dulls your experience of now - the present. It stops the moment you are in ever being good enough, leading to discontentment. Attachment also makes you live in fear. Afraid of people disliking or leaving you, as they are your source of love. Or scared of losing the success you’ve worked so hard to get. Attachment leads to a very limited life in which you need to control and manipulate things to fit your rulebook of requirements. As a result, the mind is given good cause to start producing copious amounts of thoughts about how to improve your current set of circumstances.
Quick cure: Let go of things needing to be different
    Ever catch yourself thinking this classic attachment thought? I’ll be happy when… Take a moment to consider all the things that you think you need to change, fix or improve before you can be truly happy and enjoy Mind Calm. Whether it is your job, relationship, finances, the healing of a physical condition or something else. Take note of any reasons you can think of for not chilling out and being calm now.
    If you feel discontented with any
aspect of your life, then there’s a high
chance that you’re attached.
    Once you have your list, see what happens if you ask this curious question: What happens within me if I let go of needing this to be any different to how it is now? Consider it in relation to one or more of the items on your list. Then notice how you feel when you let go of it needing to be fixed, changed or improved? Remember I’m not saying you can’t at some point take steps to make things better, but I care most about how you feel right now. What happens when you let go?
    When I invite my coaching clients and course or retreat participants to do this exercise, I see the same transformations happen time and time again. Common responses are ‘I feel relief’, ‘I feel calm’, ‘I feel free’, along with a range of other really lovely experiences. What happens for you when you are courageously contented? I say courageous because I appreciate it is common not to want to let things be. Your mind may temporarily kick up a fuss that you really must improve things first. It might even tell you that I don’t know how bad things are for you, or some other judgement. But if you are willing to be brave, by letting this moment be good enough, exactly as it is, I’m really curious as to what happens