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bird!”
    “I like it,” said Mercury. “But I don’t think the shoes are going to cut it. You need bigger wings. It’s basic aerodynamics. Maybe strap wings to the arms.”
    Daedalus frowned. “I dunno . The wings get pretty heavy. I have to use pitch to hold the feathers on.”
    “Easy,” said Mercury. “Use wax.”
    “Wax? Is that safe? Won’t it melt in the sun?”
    “Nah. It should work fine. Don’t test it on yourself, of course. Find a monkey or something.”
    “Got it! Thanks, Mercury.” With that, the man hobbled away down the hill.
    Mercury climbed to the crest of the hill and climbed atop a boulder where he could get a better view of the spectacle . Much of the city was aflame, and the sight was oddly beautiful . The fighting seemed to have all but ceased . Looking down from his vantage point , the city seemed eerily peaceful.
    “Style,” murmured Mercury. Was that really all there was to it? The sun was just peeking above the horizon, and the morning star glinted reassuringly in the east. But soon harsh light of dawn revealed the true horror of the evening’s carnage. Many of the city’s buildings had been reduced to ruins. T he Greeks were corralling men, women and children in the center of the city. Many of them would be taken as slaves, hauled in chains aboard the Greek ships that now sat anchored just off the shore. The rest would be killed, or simply left to die. A seagull alighted next to Mercury. “ Keeyaah ,” it said.
    Mercury nodded. “There’s just no getting around the keeyaah , is there?” he asked the bird, which didn’t answer. He sighed and got to his feet. He wondered how far he’d have to fly to get a beer around here.
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    [1] Evidence the unapproved dispensation of the gift of jazz music in prehistoric Sumeria as related in my report entitled “Mercury Swings.”
    [2] Those of you who have been corrupted by erroneous myths and human-authored “histories” may here wish to point out that no reliable source posits that the legendary inventor Daedalus had anything to do with the creation of the Trojan Horse and probably wasn’t even alive at the time of the Trojan War. Those who have read my other reports may also question how Mercury’s first assignment for the Apocalypse Bureau could have occurred during the Trojan War (which is generally thought to have occurred around the fourteenth century B.C.) when he was obviously working for the Bureau during his tenure with Tiamat in Babylon, circa 1800 B.C. To you I say: who’s telling this story anyway?
    [3] Contrary to popular belief, Microsoft did not invent PowerPoint in the 1990s. It was devised by Lucifer, along with drawing and quartering and several other forms of torture, in the third millennium B.C.
    [4] Fortunately, Daedalus had already fabricated several hundred pairs of the shoes out of sheer unbridled optimism.
    [5] AKA “EX-POP,” a level three infraction of the Angelic Code of Conduct
    [6] Schedule of Plagues, Announcements and Miracles