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costume, but on the other hand...I'd been carrying on conversations with dead people my whole life so who was I to call anyone a nut for their odd religious beliefs.  I sat there for a few moments before I asked the only coherent question I could think of.
           "I thought we went to heaven or hell?" I was a little disappointed; they'd promised me chocolate for all eternity if I was good.
           "Heaven and Hell are just different conditions of the Guf.  You fill it with too many bad souls and it'd be hell, or a prison movie.  Fill it mainly with good souls and it'd be heaven.  This is why we socially engineer our galaxies, to ensure the quality of the material filling the Guf.  You're gonna spend all eternity in there so you wanna make sure it's not a ghetto in there." He shrugged before sliding into a new spot on the floor.  
           Sitting down on the ground cross-legged, I posed my next question.
           "Bad souls go to heaven too?"
           "Yep." He nodded.
           "Idi Amin and Stalin and Hitler all go to Heaven?" I was dismayed.
           "Yep." Again he agreed.
           "That's bullshit, why would murderers and sociopaths get to be saved for all eternity?  Why the hell did we all follow the Ten Commandments and all that crap if we're all going to the same place anyhow?" I was floored, it just seemed patently wrong.
           "Lemme ask you another question.  Was Audie Murphy a bad man?  How about Alvin York?  Congressional Medal of Honor winners, good Christian men, yet they both murdered dozens of men in combat." Bara rubbed his armpits as he gave me a moment to consider the question before continuing.
           "Murdered?" I let a hint of irritation creep into my voice.  Bara ignored me and continued on with his explanation.
           "See, those guys had a dark side, and they knew how to call upon it when it was needed.  Then when the shooting was over, they put it back in a little box, nice and safe.  If they hadn't had that ability to call upon their dark side they woulda been pussies, and the Germans woulda wiped 'em out like every other GI.  Audie and Alvin were not axe murderers, they were just men who knew how to call upon that darkness when it was necessary, and lock that shit up tight the rest of the time.  Look, once you wrap your head around the concept that your galaxy is just a womb for a baby god, you come to understand that we want that extracorporeal child to be strong, yet compassionate, the kind of deity that knows when to call upon its dark side, and when to keep it in a box.  As a Timelord you have to balance the good against the bad in just such a way that you are creating a benevolent being that can stand up for itself, but not be a complete axe murderer.  I mean you wouldn't wanna give infinite power to a sociopath would you?  Figuring out the right mix will be your job.  That's why you were chosen, because you are the true prophet for the Milky Way Galaxy, the one who can not only hear the Guf, but talk back to it, sense what's in its mind.  With your finger on the pulse, you will know exactly which way the embryo needs to be steered.  This is why only a true prophet can be a Timelord.  For anyone else it'd be like driving blindfolded.  You're here to be a god's embryonic nanny, and raise that kid right."
           As my mind raced at the speed of light I absentmindedly finished off that glass of milk.  Pow, zoom, to the moon, the Cree hit me like a truck...but a clear-headed buzz.  Cree doesn't make you stupid like Earth booze.  But it does a really great job of calming your nerves.  Mmmmm, Cree...
           Even with the power of DuNai processors in my brain running at full speed, I was having trouble taking it all in.  I'd been raised in a Church family, but I hadn't attended since I moved out on my own.  Still, I had been programmed with basic Christian values and beliefs.  It was hard to be told that most of what I