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him,’ and he ushered her into the sitting room, where Nolan was just stirring, unlike Metternich, who was asleep on his back with his legs in the air, one eye disconcertingly half open.
    Nolan woke up as he did everything, with calm good humour. The crying started when he forgot his little adventure and rubbed his chin with the back of a podgy fist.
    ‘Whoops,’ Maxwell said, scooping him up. ‘OK, mate, let’s be like brave soldiers, now. Look, Julie has come to see you.’
    ‘’Lo, Julie,’ the boy muttered, wiping his eyes and nose lavishly on Maxwell’s shoulder. ‘Are you a babysitter?’
    ‘No,’ said Julie, smiling in spite of herself. ‘I’ve just come to visit your mummy and daddy.’
    Nolan’s eyes clouded. ‘Where is Mama?’ he asked.
    ‘Don’t worry, Nole. She’s out running an errand for Julie. She’ll be back in a minute. Do you fancy a game of any sort?’
    Nolan wriggled down out of his arms and made for the TV. ‘Mario Kart?’ he said, pulling out the Wii from the drawer in the TV table.
    Maxwell made a face. ‘Oh, come on, Nole. You know I’m hopeless at that sort of thing. I had in mind three-dimensional chess, something like that.’
    But Nolan knew an opportunity when it presented itself and he held up the handset to Julie in mute query.
    She had plumped herself down beside him in seconds and they were off, leaning round the corners, accelerating into the bends, skittering off the obstacles before Maxwell could plug in his Atari II ping-pong console.
    ‘Right,’ he announced. ‘I’ll just sit over here then, shall I?’
    ‘Uh huh, Dads,’ said Nolan absently. ‘I’m a bit thirsty, could I have a drink?’
    ‘Of course,’ said Maxwell the butler. ‘Anything else? Crisps? Caviar? Roast suckling pig?’
    The boy chuckled and risked a quick glance over his shoulder. ‘Crippies, please, Dads. And some for Julie, please.’
    ‘Your wish is my command, oh master,’ and Maxwell, transformed from Jeeves to the Genie of the Lamp, went off in search of food and drink. He found Jacquie in the kitchen, the phone cradled in the crook of her neck. She put her finger to her lips. The tinny sound of an answerphone could just be heard through her head. She seemed about to leave a message, then decided against it and replaced the receiver.
    The Genie wafted out with the refreshments but was back in the twinkling of an eye. ‘Well?’
    ‘I was trying to reach Henry.’
    The image flashed into Maxwell’s mind. Henry Hall was Jacquie’s boss, the DCI up at the nick, the
capo di capi
, all blank glasses and solemn, immobile face.
    ‘I guessed that much. Why?’
    ‘Well, to see if we’ve had any complaints from parents about the Internet, or texts, that sort of thing. I’ve been busy with this burglary case and I haven’t really had time to keep my ear to the ground. I just wondered if Henry knew anything.’
    ‘I gather he wasn’t there.’
    ‘Well, not picking up the phone, anyway.’ They stared at each other with wide eyes for a second. She immediately corrected herself. ‘That’s right. Not there.’ Neither of them could countenance for a moment the idea of Henry Hall sitting calmly and letting the phone ring and ring.
    ‘So, what are your thoughts on who this is, without Henry’s input?’ Maxwell said, casting a glance over his shoulder.
    Jacquie drew a big breath and let it out slowly. ‘Obviously, my first thought was kids being nasty.’ Maxwell put in an understanding nod. In his experience,
all
kids were nasty. ‘But, on the whole, I don’t think so. I think the text was a bit adult in its content, the whole panties thing rather smacks of a flasher in a mac, or perhaps I am being ageist. And sexist too, I suppose.’
    ‘And weatherist?’
    She gave him a flick with a tea towel. ‘That too. Also, the text-speak was rather half-hearted. A text from a youngster really is like a foreign language. There isn’t a single whole word in the thing. This was rather