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started between you and I, if your mate is out there among the
pack…” He didn’t finish.
    “And how will I recognize my mate?” I
asked him, pressing my body against his and staring into his eyes, watching
them go yellow. His hands found their way to my hips.
    “Have you seen my wolf? It’s
markings?” I nodded and lowered my eyes to his lips. I didn’t want to be
someone else’s mate. I wanted to choose for myself. “Well, my mate’s marking
will be the exact opposite of mine. Instead of a black coat with a white star,
she will have a white coat with a black star. Mates were made for each other, a
union blessed by Spirit. When mates meet for the first time in wolf form, it’s
said to be indescribable. Your mate might not even be on this continent, but I
wanted to warn you in case he is.”
                    “Let’s get this over with then.” I pulled out
of his grasp, afraid of getting too close. One thing was certain. I wouldn’t be
anyone’s mate unless I wanted to be. I don’t care what Spirit thought. I
could feel his eyes burning into the back of my head.
                    The entire pack was assembled. I noticed some
of the men staring at me with longing.
                    “The first shift is painful and it takes a
while. Since you’re a changed wolf you will have a gift. We may not know
what it is right away, just be patient,” Kai told me.
                    “How do I shift?” I felt stupid for asking.
                    I heard Akash chuckle behind me. "You
let your wolf out. No pun intended. Let her bubble to the surface. Then push
with everything you are and it just happens. I threw up my first shift, so
don’t feel bad if you do."
                    I laughed. “Okay, just don’t get too close to
me. I might throw up on you.”
                    He smiled and then ran to be with his
friends. The pack began undressing around me, including Kai, but I noticed
everyone kept their eyes on the ground. Here goes nothing, I thought, and began
peeling off my clothes. When I was about to unclip my bra, I looked up. Kai was
staring into my eyes. I blushed. He shifted in seconds while the rest of the
pack slowly started. I heard cracking bones all around me and took a deep
breath calling to my inner wolf. ‘ Pack. Run.’
                    Once I felt her at the surface, I pushed. It
was like screaming with no sound. I felt the blood rush to my face. My blood
felt like it was carbonated, and my skin felt like Jell-O. One second I was
standing on two legs,  then I felt like someone had taken a knife and filleted
me in half, and then I was standing on four paws. The other wolves hadn't
finished shifting but all eyes were on me. They went from me, to Kai, and back
to me. I thought they must be staring at us because we had the same gift; the
gift of shifting instantly, being super-fast… but then I heard it. ‘ Mate .’
    I looked up at Kai in his wolf form.
A thousand images passed between us. Him as a little boy in India hanging
clothes on a clothes line with his mother. Me as a little girl being rocked
back and forth to sleep by my mother. Him as a young man being attacked by a
wolf pack, being changed . Me around 12 years old covering my ears as my
father screamed at my mother. Him as a young wolf fighting for dominance. I
felt every bite. I felt his pain. Me as a teenager standing over my father in
the kitchen; a knife dripping blood in my hand. My father’s dead body on the
tile next to my unconscious mother. Kai happy as an Alpha of his first pack. Me
happy when my mom and I moved into our first place. It was like a life review
of what each other had missed up until now.
    He jumped on my wolf, rolling me down
the grassy hill nipping at my neck playfully. I breathed him in. Cedar, mint,
and home. ‘ Mate,’ I heard my wolf say. ‘ You're mine ,’ Kai said.
My inner wolf