I’m sick of living a lie, of lying even to myself, and it’s time to stop.”
“Okay...” Jamie said.
Chet was still gripping Tegan’s hands, while Jamie stood at an angle, a little too close. There wasn’t a lot of room in here. He had a look in his eye as if he knew what was coming. Or feared what was coming. Tegan had no idea.
Chet took a huge breath. “I’m coming out,” he said. “It’s time to say it, and live it, instead of lying to myself and everyone around me. I’m gay.”
Silence in the trailer.
Tegan was too shocked to speak. So sudden. So…
And Jamie...
Well, she would never expect someone like him to have the words for something like this. And she couldn’t blame him, because she didn’t have the words, either.
She’d never thought.
Never suspected.
Chet was the last person. Not his voice, not his mannerisms, not his tastes, not any of the clichés. She felt stupid for thinking that the clichés had to be true.
Wow. Wow.
“Chet,” she said. “That’s – I’m - ” She really didn’t know what to say next.
Then Jamie stepped forward and took his friend in his arms. “Good.” He whooshed out a huge breath. “I’m real glad. Good.” He stood that way for some seconds, then loosened the hug, slapped Chet on the back. “It’s okay, buddy.” He grabbed Chet’s upper arms and shook him and punched his hard shoulder with a mix of tenderness and rough cowboy that almost brought tears to Tegan’s eyes. “It’s fine. It’s okay. You gotta be honest. Of course you do.”
She couldn’t believe it. Jamie MacCreadie was handling this? Wasn’t running a mile?
Was handling it better than Tegan, truth be told, because she was still too shocked to speak, wondering if there were glaring signs she’d missed.
Chet grabbed a stained handkerchief from his pocket, sniffed and wiped his eyes. “You don’t seem surprised, Jamie.”
“I guess you don’t remember,” Jamie said carefully.
“Remember what?”
“The night you made a pass at me, couple of months ago, and I punched you for it.”
“Wha -?”
“Yeah, I thought you’d drunk too much...”
Chet swore, then sat heavily onto his messy lower bunk. “This is so strange. This isn’t how I thought it would go. I can’t believe I made a pass at you.”
“Well, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was a pass, at the time. You do have a habit of telling people you love them, when you’ve been drinking. But then there was… other stuff.”
“It was a pass,” Chet said. “Even if I don’t remember it. But I’m almost over you now.”
“Well, that’s a relief, to be honest.”
And they actually laughed.
Then Chet breathed in and out for a good while, and said, “I’m feeling - I’m feeling - I thought I might want to kill myself after I said it, but I don’t.”
“Aww, man, don’t even talk like that.” Jamie sat down beside him, gave his shoulders another hard squeeze and shake with one generous arm. “You were going to kill yourself if you didn’t say it. All the drinking. You don’t think I’ve been worried about that?”
They talked some more, Chet full of confession, Jamie telling him it was all okay.
He was incredible.
Finally, after quite a long time, Chet announced, “I think I need to be alone for a while. You guys have been amazing...”
I haven’t, Tegan thought. I really haven’t. But Jamie has.
Who knew?
“This has been a long time coming.” Chet looked across at her. “Tegan, I couldn’t marry you. Thought I could. It seemed like proof. Marrying a woman, even if it was just for the green card. Then I was just yelling and screaming inside about it, and I just couldn’t do it”
“It’s okay, Chet,” Tegan said. “It really is.”
“I still have a lot to work out.” He whooshed out another breath, sounding daunted and exhilarated at the same time. “A lot of people to tell.”
“You really want to be on your own, buddy?” Jamie prodded gently. “You