Read Mama Gets Trashed (A Mace Bauer Mystery) for Free Online

to the top. Danny Blue screwed up his courage to follow me and steal a kiss. The other little girls watched from the ground, chiming in to sing that same song.
    “Seriously? How old are you again, boss?’’
    “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. You’re so close-mouthed and private about everything. You make an easy target. Didn’t your mama teach you that people who hate to be teased are the people everybody loves to tease?’’
    I relented, and returned Rhonda’s grin. If the bulls-eye fits, may as well wear it.
    “So, have you lovebirds set a date? When’s the wedding?’’
    “That’s a popular question,’’ I said. “There’s no rush.’’
    “There is if you want children.’’ Rhonda’s voice lost its teasing tone. “You’re not getting any younger.’’
    “Thanks for the reminder.’’
    “I’m serious.’’
    “We’ve only been engaged a few months. We’ve got plenty of time.’’
    “That’s what people always say, until they run out of time.’’
    _____

    “Who’s hungry?’’
    Claws skittered. Wood shavings rustled. Pepé Le Pew put a paw to his food dish, banging it against the floor of his enclosure. “Whoa, Pepé my man! Didn’t anyone ever tell you patience is a virtue?’’
    The skunk was a permanent resident. His moronic former owner had him de-scented, and then left him to fend for himself in the wild without his only natural means of defense. I’d been called out to capture him by a newcomer who objected to having her garden parties crashed by a skunk. If you asked me, some of her over-perfumed guests smelled much worse than Pepé.
    I would have rather released him into the woods. Without his scent, though, the skunk was safer with the other injured, abused, or unwanted critters we kept at Himmarshee Park.
    Once the inside inhabitants were taken care of, I went outside to the pond to feed Ollie.
    A cool rush of air hit me in the face, blowing my hair off my neck. Suddenly, the leaves high in the trees started shaking. The sky had blackened. Big, angry-looking clouds scudded over the park, blowing toward us from Lake Okeechobee to our south. The temperature dropped by at least ten degrees. The sudden chill raised goose bumps on my sweaty flesh.
    “Storm’s coming, Ollie.’’
    The gator swam toward me, powerful tail propelling him through the water. His jaws gaped, as he regarded me with his one good eye. Lightning flashed, zigzagging across the dark sky. Maybe it was the threatening weather, or the lightning reflecting off those acres of teeth, but something made me think of the close call Mama and I had survived with Ollie, at this very pond.
    I stepped back from the wall. Turned to look behind me. Dark shadows filled the woods. The gnarled branches of old oaks seemed
to reach toward me, like the grasping fingers of malevolent giants. A shiver started at my neck and traced a trail all the way down my spine.
    I held out my hand. The barest tremble betrayed an uncommon onset of nerves. “Look at me, Ollie. Spooked by a little foul weather.’’
    I went to the wall again; found the gator still awaiting his supper. “I wonder if it’s starting to get to me, how everybody’s always asking me when I’m getting married? I’m not ready right now, but I’ll tell you a secret.’’
    I thought I saw an interested look in Ollie’s eye. Maybe he was anticipating the secret. More likely, it was the thawed raw chickens I had in the bucket at my feet. I looked around to see if anyone lurked nearby, close enough to hear me revealing my deepest feelings to a one-eyed, three-legged alligator. He’d come out on the losing end in a fight with another male over territory.
    “I really do love this man, Ollie. I’m happy.’’ I dangled the first chicken over the wall. The reptile’s jaws gaped wide. “I can hardly believe it myself. Nothing’s going to happen to screw up this relationship.’’
    I tossed the plucked bird. Ollie’s mouth slammed shut with a resounding crack. I