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you’re making me sick to my stomach. I think the music is making you crazy.”
    I knew that they had missed that boat. For them it was just do it and have a kid. They were old-school people.
    I learned from an early age the difference between sex and love. The first time I fell in love was in summer camp. It was a Catholic camp, and it was really scary for a kid from the streets going out to the country by himself. I cried my eyes out that first night. This nun came around with a strap and slapped the shit out of whoever cried, so I had to stick my head in the pillow and muffle my sobs. But there was this nurse there who was just beautiful, and I fell in love with her. I was so crazy about her, I would scratch myself just so I could have her fix it.
    But having sex itself was far from that romantic. My uncle George got me my first blowjob. I was around thirteen when he came over one night. He was loaded.
    “I gotta go down to the bar,” he said. “Why don’t you come with me and I’ll get you a Coke and some potato chips.” I always dug visiting with my uncle at his bar, so I went.
    My uncle would hang out with his friends at the end of the bar and I would sit at a nearby booth because it was illegal for a minor to sit at the bar. Right around the corner at the end of the bar were the bathrooms and a big phone booth and then the kitchen. I was sitting at the booth and I watched as one by one, my uncle’s friends went back to the kitchen area. I wondered what they were doing back there. Then my uncle came">predicament.” s” over to me.
    “Do you want to try something that you’ll never forget? But you can’t tell your mom or Nanny!”
    “Sure, Uncle George,” I said.
    His friends were all laughing, getting a kick out of this. One guy said, “Send the kid in, break his cherry.” So Unc told me to go back to the phone booth. In the booth was a forty-something dirty blonde, skinny, somewhat attractive. I was scared shitless. I’d never been with a girl, let alone a grown woman. She sat me down in the booth and got down on her knees and pulled down my little jockey shorts and I got my dick suckedfor the first time in my life. It didn’t take long, trust me. When I came back out to the bar area, I was white as snow and the men were hysterical.
    I started getting a steady diet of blowjobs a few years later when I worked at the butcher shop. The three butchers were real horny Italian guys. They had Playboy centerfolds plastered all over the walls of the back room of the shop. That was the first time that I saw a centerfold with the big tits and great ass. I didn’t have anything like that at home, so I’d always find an excuse to go to the back room and whack off looking at those pictures, keeping one eye on the door so I wouldn’t get caught.
    Every Friday night, after they cleaned up and prepared for the big Saturday rush, they’d bring a broad in to blow them in the back bathroom. A lot of these women came in, sadly enough, for food. I remember one who had kids and her husband had just left her and they would give her two huge shopping bags full of meat for blowing them. It was quite an education, that little shop.
    One Friday night, one of the guys came over to me.
    “We’re going to get you laid.”
    I thought that was pretty cool. I had had a blowjob, but I’d never lost my cherry.
    “Go in the bathroom in ten minutes and she’ll be waiting for you.”
    I waited and then I went in and there was this thirty-something black woman sitting there. She was attractive but a little bit chunky with huge boobs.
    “Hi, honey,” she said. “I know you’re a little nervous, but it’s gonna be fine. Sit down.”
    I sat down on the toilet seat, petrified. She sat down on top of me and took my dick out and tried to put it in her but it wasn’t even there. It disappeared. All I can think was that there was a big black naked woman sitting on top of this skinny little Italian boy. I couldn’t get it up, but she