Read Major Karnage for Free Online Page B

Harvey. Learn your place,” Karnage said.
    Harvey’s face went purple. He pointed a gloved finger at Karnage.
“You need to learn a thing or two about respect, old man.”
    “Care to give me a demonstration?” Karnage said.
    Harvey grinned. “If you insist.” He went for his night stick.
    Karnage was quicker. His fist came up with the golf club and
smashed Harvey across the face. The visor crumpled inward. The
golf club shouted “Fat Shot” while the Sanity Patch crooned “Peachy
Keen.” Harvey grunted and staggered backwards, blood oozing from
the crumpled visor. He dropped to the floor.
    “Harvey!” Princess grabbed his taser and fired. Karnage slid
under the table. The taser barbs slammed into the bench leather
inches above his head. Karnage shoved himself out from under the
table, slamming Princess in the shins. Princess fell. Karnage leaped
atop him and smashed his helmet against the floor. The Sanity
Patch crooned “Tangy Orange” as Karnage bodily hefted Princess up
and launched him through the plate glass window. Princess’s scream
was drowned out by the sound of shattering glass.
    The Sanity Patch buzzed again. “Warning. Sanity Level upgraded
to Sharp Cheddar. Please refrain—”
    “Shut up. I’m trying to hear something.” Karnage strained his
ears. There, just beyond the soothing tones of the Sanity Patch,
Karnage could make out more high-pitched buzzing. This time
mixed with sirens.
    Karnage pulled Harvey’s gun from its holster and vaulted
through the shattered window. In the distance, he could see a flood
of flickering red and white lights barrelling towards him on the
highway.
    “Shit!” Karnage jumped on the nearest hoverbike. It bobbed and
swayed, nearly tipping over. Karnage struggled to keep his balance.
A screen on the centre console flashed to life.
    “Please place your palm on the scanner for biometric—”
    “Shit-shit- shit!” Karnage punched the screen.
    “Warning. Sanity level upgraded to—”
    “Shut up!”
    Karnage jumped off the bike and ran back into the diner. He
grabbed Harvey’s moaning body and threw it through the broken
window. He upturned tables and chairs, propping them in the
windows, bracing them against the doors.
    “What the hell are you doing?”
    Karnage turned around. Charlie stood in the kitchen doorway,
thrusting the mop forward like a spear.
    “Defensive perimeter.” Karnage ripped a booth table from the
floor. Tiles and sheared bolts flew in all directions. “Dunno how
much good this formica shit will be against bullets, but at least it’ll
give me some cover. You keep any ordnance around here? Artillery?
Heavy weapons?”
    Upchuck looked at his mop, then back at Karnage. He shook his
head.
    “How about emergency rations? No? Guess it don’t matter much.
It’s a restaurant, right? Gotta have at least some food supplies. Don’t
look so worried, bub. I been in tougher scrapes ’n this. I’ll get us
outta here alive.”
    “Alive?!”
    “Now here’s what we’ll do. You go round the back—”
    The mop made a loud clatter on the floor. Karnage turned to
look. The doors to the kitchen were swinging violently on their
hinges. Charlie was gone. Karnage shook his head. “Civilians.”
    He grabbed the mop and a chrome napkin dispenser from under
the counter. He jammed the dispenser onto the mop handle and
lifted it above the counter. He rotated the finely polished surface
until he had a clear view of the front window.
    The cops had parked their hoverbikes and cruisers in a line across
the lot. Cat ears peeked over the vehicles, angry black gun barrels
held before them. A pair of cops had run forward and were dragging
the limp bodies of Harvey and Princess behind the cruisers.
    Karnage swivelled the dispenser, trying to gauge the number of
cops. He stopped counting after ten. He couldn’t handle more than
that. Not alone. He pulled out Harvey’s pistol. He didn’t recognize
the make. It was a