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thick Lottie and I had been. Looking back, I can see that I must have made the thing sound like something out of the home life of Antony and Cleopatra. "Dear old Lottie 1" I remember saying. "What a pall What a nib! You must meet dear old Lottie! She'll do anything for a brother of mine. How we two did use to whoop it up together, to be sure!" You know how one does.'
    ‘ Quite.'
    ‘ Old boy,' said Reggie solemnly, 'he's engaged to herl ’ ‘ What!'
    'Absolutely. When I said he must meet her, he said he had met her, at Biarritz a couple of months ago, when he went down thereon the occasion of the Admiralty blokes pushing him off for his annual vacation. And when I said: "Oh, how did you like her?" he replied that he liked her very much and that they were engaged to be married and what precisely had I meant by the expression "whoop it up". Dashed embarrassing, you'll admit'
    'Dashed.'
    'Nor did the embarrassment in any way diminish with the passage of time,' said Reggie. 'Things grew stickier and stickier. "She comes aboard at Cherbourg," he said. "That," I said, rattled, but holding up as well as I could, "will be jolly." "For whom?" he said. "For you," I said. "Yes," he said. "What did you mean by 'whoop it up'?" "Does she know about this Hollywood job of yours?" I said. "She does," he said. "I'll bet she's pleased," I said. "No doubt," he said. "You have not yet explained what you meant by the expression 'whoop it up'." "Oh, nothing," I said. "Just that we were pretty pally at one time." "Oh?" he said. "Ah!" And there the matter rested. You see the situation? You get the general trend? The blighter is in nasty mood. He suspects. He views with concern. And Lottie comes aboard at Cherbourg.'
    'We're at Cherbourg now.'
    'Exactly. I imagine she is already with us. And we now come, old boy, to the very nub of the thing. Do you know what?' 'What?'
    'I happened to take a look at the passenger list, and I'm blowed if I didn't find that her state-room was next door to mine! Well, you know what Ambrose is like. Already fairly near the boil and crammed to the gizzard with low suspicions, what was he going to say when he discovered that?'
    ‘ Ah!'
    'That's it precisely - Ah! So there was only one thing to do. I had to change state-rooms wit h you. You follow? You grasp?' ‘ Yes.'
    'And you don't mind?' 'Of course not.'
    ‘ I knew it,' said Reggie with emotion. 'I knew I could rely on you. Staunch to the eyebrows. I don't know how Ambrose strikes you, Monty, but from childhood up I have always found him a hard egg. As a boy, he had a habit, when stirred, of suddenly lashing out with a foot and catching me on the seat of the trousers, and from the way he was looking when I removed myself just now I don't believe the years have softened and mellowed him a damn' bit. Your decent behaviour regarding this switch of state-rooms has probably saved me a very nasty flesh wound. And don't think I shall forget it, either. You can rely on me to strain every nerve in re that young chump Gertrude. Be sure that I shall watch over your interests. Do nothing in that direction till you hear from me.'
    'I was thinking of going to the library and writing her a letter.'
    Reggie weighed this.
    'Yes. I see no harm in that. Don't grovel, though. ’ 'I wasn't going to grovel,' said Monty indignantly. 'If you want to know, I was going to be bally bitter and dashed terse.' ‘ Such as-?'
    'Well, to begin with, I thought of starting off "Gertrude".
    Like that. Not "Dear Gertrude" or "Darling Gertrude". Just
    'Gertrude". ’ 'Yes,' agreed Reggie. 'That'll make her think a bit. ’ "Gertrude," I was planning to write, "You r behaviour is inexplicable."'
    'You couldn't do better,' said Reggie cordially. 'Go on up and smack into it now. I, personally, propose to take a short turn on deck. The last time I was there, till Ambrose bashed me between the shoulder-blades, the sea air seemed to be doing my headache good. That sensation of white-hot corkscrews through