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to having—a family. “We haven’t really tried.”
    “Haven’t tried? What do you think this has been?”
    “I mean really tried. Like talk to someone. Maybe go to counseling.”
    “Counseling?” Cam went still and stiff. “You know I don’t do shrinks.”
    “I was thinking more a marriage counselor.” Kerris took a step in Cam’s direction, softening her voice for the next words. “And maybe they could recommend someone for you.”
    “For me?” Wariness shuttered Cam’s face and slitted his eyes. “I don’t need a counselor.”
    “Cam, your nightmares have only gotten worse and you’re barely sleeping.”
    Cam pointed one long finger in her direction. “Holy fuck! You got some nerve turning this back on me. I don’t need a counselor . I’m not the one fighting to stay in a marriage I don’t even want.”
    “That’s not true.”
    “What do you want, Kerris?”
    “I…well…I want you and…this baby, of course.”
    “Of course you do.” Cam swaddled the words in sarcasm. “Don’t make me out to be the head case when you’re in love with two guys.”
    “I’m not.”
    “Yeah, you’re right. You’re not in love with two guys. Just one.” Cam strode to the door, launching his next words over his shoulder like a torpedo. “Too bad he’s not your husband.
    He slammed the door behind him.
    So sad, so familiar, a door closing. Gone. For a moment, after the violence of their raised voices, Kerris welcomed the silence, but then it throbbed and thickened around her. Swelled in the cottage, lonely and desolate.
    Not an affair. Some set of fake tits Cam had called her. That girl meant absolutely nothing to Cam. Echoes of his accusations stung her ears. He was right. She was the cheat because Walsh did mean something to her. In another life, he would have been the air she breathed. In this one, he was the magnificent thorn piercing her side, tempting her to go against the grain of what she knew was right. She was culpable, responsible for all of the convolutions in this marriage. For the circuitous hurt she continued to do to Cam, even when her intentions were the best.
    Moving like an old woman, she shuffled into her bedroom and lay on the bed. She didn’t bother removing the kimono, but just slipped under the covers and went to sleep.
    “If you were ready for your someone special, what would she be like?”
    Walsh looked away from Shelby’s probing stare and directly into Kerris’s eyes. He smiled that slow smile she’d never seen him give to anyone else, reaching out to tangle his long fingers with hers. He pulled Kerris to him, towering over her, sheltering her. She had missed this feeling. In these few moments, she forgot about Shelby. Forgot about the world outside of these arms. There was only now. There was only them, and things were right. She wasn’t sure how it had happened, but things were finally right.
    Walsh whispered her name like an incantation.
    Kerris. Kerris. Kerris.
    “Kerris!”
    “Walsh,” she muttered, still clawing her way out of the dream. She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and pulling the kimono close around her neck.
    “What’d you just call me?” Cam stood in the semidark, the lamp illuminating the mounting rage on his face.
    “Cam! Oh, gosh. No. No, it’s not…not—” she sputtered, still blinking heavy sleep from her eyes.
    “In your sleep!” Cam chopped a stiff hand through the air and leaned down until their noses almost touched. “And you have the nerve to accuse me of cheating? When you lie down beside me every night and dream about him ?”
    His hot, alcohol-soaked breath fanned her face. words were not crisp, but slurred, slopping around in his mouth, crowded out by anger and outrage.
    “Cam, you’ve been drinking.” With false calm, she reached up to touch his face, wiping at the dampness on his forehead. “It’s been a volatile night for us both. Let’s talk about this tomorrow when we’re both in our right minds.”
    Cam pushed