it’s not going to happen again. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you. Eventually, maybe enough time will pass that you can let it go enough to be my friend. I’ve got to go, but I’ll send Jess and Connor over to heat up dinner for you and keep an eye on Lucas so you can shower.”
She stalks to the door and as her hand grasps the doorknob, I call out to her, “Kate, wait a second.”
She pauses but doesn’t turn to look at me.
“You can spend as much time with Lucas as you want. I know you love him already, but for now, let’s keep our contact to a minimum.”
Her shoulders slump but she nods, acknowledging my request.
“Not because I don’t want to see you, Kate, but because I’ve got to do this in my own time. I wasn’t kidding when I said I needed baby steps. Our friendship is very important to me and getting it back on solid ground is going to be a rocky road but I’m willing to walk it…at my own pace.”
She muffles a cry, flings the door open, and flees. Within minutes, Jess is here heating up food and telling me to take a shower. By the time I’m showered and calm, Jess has changed Lucas and is feeding him in the nursery. She doesn’t look up at me but she acknowledges my presence.
“You two make me so freaking sad, Daniel. If you could see what we all see you’d know that nothing on this earth could keep Kate from loving you. Whatever happened here tonight destroyed whatever faith she had left, so if you were trying to end things for good you absolutely succeeded. Go eat. Connor’s waiting for you downstairs.”
Connor is sitting at the table next to a plate of food and a beer that matches the one he’s drinking. I’m not even hungry anymore but I take a seat and down the beer in a few gulps.
“You really fucked up, you know that?” Connor questions me accusingly.
“I’m not the one who lost faith and fucked someone else,” I retort like a petulant child.
“Maybe not, but you did just have a baby with your ex. Even with that, she still wanted to try to work things out. It doesn’t matter now. I’m pretty sure you’ve lost her for good. Kate wanted to make sure you had this back. I hope you’re happy with yourself.”
In his hand is her promise ring and I’m instinctively shaking my head no. I don’t want that back; it’s hers.
“You’ve made your choice, Daniel. She doesn’t need reminders of you giving her false hope. If you want her to have this ring you can go give it back to her. I’m out.” He places the ring on the table and quietly leaves.
In all my life I don’t think I’ve ever seen Connor as pissed off as he is right now. My emotions have been put to the test these past few days in a way they never have before. I’m mentally and physically exhausted; I just don’t know what to feel anymore. By the time Jess comes downstairs, I’m crying as if I’ve lost my best friend, but in a way I guess I have.
Surprisingly, Jess pulls me until I’m standing and gives me a hug.
“This pain you’re feeling is just the beginning. Trust me, I watched Kate go through it when Mike left. Does it hurt to the depths of your soul? I imagine it does…you’re both hurting needlessly. Take the energy you’re expending on your anger and redirect it. Use it to start healing your relationship instead. Don’t let this go too far, Daniel. Fix it while you still can. She loves you but she won’t wait forever. Not again.”
She places a kiss on my cheek and lets herself out, closing the door quietly behind her.
What the fuck just happened?
Kate
When I woke up this morning, I was in the middle of a Jess and Connor sandwich and thanked my lucky stars for friends like them. After showering and having my morning coffee, I felt better. Jess and Connor had already left for school by the time I came downstairs and thankfully the only class I had today was cancelled by my teacher. The semester is almost over and finals are about five weeks away. My GPA