pulled out his cock and I felt such affection for it. Such devotion. It was so big and so fat and so hard and so straight. I kissed the top of it and then I was sucking on him and licking him forever. With so much love. There was nothing but my mouth around him. Nothing else but feeling what he was feeling and giving him what he wanted. I gave myself over to it and I knew what to do. The sounds he made were so genuine and grateful. I was moving with the music. I was performing. Just like that I understood how to be sexy like I’d finally understood what it was to be high and it was as if I had always known even though I hadn’t until that night. When he came he curled forward over me and cradled my head and I was wrapped up in the middle of him and I was swallowing it all and I could feel the vibration of his sounds on the back of my head. I stayed there with him far back in my throat after he’d finished and I had swallowed all of it. I waited until he sat up and then I let him go gently and sat back on my heels and looked up at him and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Damn, he said. Damn. Where’d you learn to do that? he asked, looking at me with admiration and disbelief. Here, I said.
There was a small room in the hall between the bedrooms. I don’t know what it was supposed to be. It didn’t have any windows but it wasn’t a closet. He had set up his own stereo in there and his guitars were lined up on their stands. There were speakers in each corner and a big beanbag in the middle of the room. After I learned how to gethigh and suck dick we started going in there at night. He’d light a candle and turn on Jack Johnson or something else mellow. Ani DiFranco. Sometimes Patrice Pike. The Honeytree Lie. One night it was Alanis singing something better than the ironic song and I found her voice and figured out how to give it up to him too. I was lying with my back on the beanbag and my bottom on the carpet and he was inside me and I rode her voice with my pelvis. I let it go. Oh God Marie he said. I let him have all of it and he came and I knocked over the candle with my foot and the flame went out but we didn’t do anything about it because we were both having his climax. He passed out right away. I didn’t move. I was comfortable in the dark on the beanbag with his weight on me and his cock inside me. I liked it in that room. The smallness of it made me feel right. It was like a secret. Like we had found a place outside of life. Or under it. Away. When You Oughta Know came on I was glad the stereo remote was by my hand so I could skip it without disturbing him. I lay there in the dark listening to her and looking at the dark and smelling his neck. I closed my eyes and cried while she sang. You choose you learn she said. You pray you learn. You ask you learn. I was crying without letting my body move. It was only tears. I was keeping my breathing normal and I wasn’t making any sounds but the emotions made the milk come out fast and hot and I couldn’t push on them because he was lying on top of me. I hadn’t nursed her in over eight hours and there was so much milk. He woke up when he felt it on his chest. I’m leaking, I said. Wow, he said. He got up off me and when he did I could feel all the streams streaking away from my body and he said Whoa! because some of it was stillreaching him. I didn’t try to stop it because I needed to let the milk go anyway if I wasn’t going to feed her. He turned on the overhead light and when he saw that the milk was shooting out and dripping off my body onto the floor he said Hey! Shit! and grabbed his shirt off the floor and covered me with it.
I took what I’d learned back to my husband and taught him how to go down on me. I mean I didn’t explain it or anything but I knew what to do with my hips and I knew what to ask for and I discovered that he had a sweet mouth and he loved making me come. He loved me.
The morning I didn’t get up and pulled a package