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you’re just going to give them away.”
    â€œDon’t overdramatize. I’m not giving them away. Boy, Khyber, you know just what to say to get me mad!”
    â€œMaybe you should give me away, too, as long as you’re handing out children. In fact, why givethem away? Why not sell them? You can use the money to buy more Monkees records.”
    Tammy took the boys’ hands and walked away from me.
    I followed her, saying nasty, vile things all the way across Ward’s Island.
    â€œYou’re probably doing this so you can become a stripper again,” I said. “First you put your sons in a home, then you’ll put me in a home, then you’ll have the apartment all to yourself. You’ll sell us, then you’ll have lots of other children, and you’ll sell them, too.”
    All the way to the ferry docks, I kept it up. Tammy didn’t say a word. If Tammy had been a hitting kind of a mother, I would have been hit a thousand times. Tammy’s never hit me or the boys, though. I don’t think she knows how.
    Rain started to come down, first in light spats, then it really started to pour. We ran, but we were still pretty wet by the time we reached the small shelter near the ferry docks.
    Inside the shelter, Mom spoke. “This is not your decision to make, Khyber. This is mine. David and Daniel need to be around people who are trained, who can teach them.”
    I listened to the rain pattering down around us.
    â€œKhyber, I’m tired. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m not able to give the boys what they need, andI’m not able to give you what you need. Every cent we have goes to treatment for the boys, and none of those treatments have helped one bit. All those people with brilliant ideas who take advantage of someone like me...” Tammy started to cry, but stopped herself.
    â€œMaybe I’ve been wrong in not talking to you about this before,” Tammy said. “It wouldn’t have come as such a shock. I’ve been trying to get them into a home for some time.”
    I stood up. “I thought they were in a home,” I said, and stomped out into the rain.
    Living without my brothers? Not tucking them into bed at night, all warm from their baths? Not taking them out every day after school? Not dancing with them to Tammy’s Monkees records? Singing the soup song without them there?
    By the time the ferry came, I was soaked through to the skin. My teeth were chattering. I didn’t try to stop shivering. I wanted Tammy to feel guilty for making me get cold and wet.
    We sat in the downstairs part of the ferry. I grabbed David and Daniel’s hands and took them to a seat a fair bit away from Tammy. The boys will usually go with me anywhere, but they must have felt my anger. They screamed and yanked themselves away from me — they were growing strong as well as tall and heavy — and stood off by themselves.
    The walk home was long and cold, and by the time we got there, we were all chilled and miserable. Tammy tossed the boys in a hot bath, while I got out of my wet clothes and into my robe. The soup was hot by the time I finished my bath.
    I didn’t sing the soup song. Tammy didn’t deserve it.

CHAPTER SEVEN
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
    Mom kept me home from school Monday because I caught a cold in the rain. She was gone practically all day with the twins. She didn’t tell me where she was going.
    I spent most of the day on my bunk, reading and studying for the history test we were having the next day. Outside, the world was gray and drizzly. It was nice to be in my bed with a book and a bowl of soup. I wondered where X was. I hoped she was warm and dry.
    When Mom came back with my brothers, she wouldn’t answer any of my questions, and I soon got tired of asking. I was still mad at her.
    I used my cold as an excuse to go to bed early. I didn’t lift a finger to help her with the twins.
    Maybe because