Lockdown

Read Lockdown for Free Online Page B

Book: Read Lockdown for Free Online
Authors: Cher Carson
her.
    “That’s what I thought,” she said, pushing against his chest. “You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either.” Her voice broke on a heart-wrenching sob. “I’ve loved you my whole life, Jake. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved, the only man I’ve ever wanted.” She sniffled as she brushed away the tears slipping down her cheeks. “But you can’t give me what I need, can you?”
    He was speechless. Jess had never broken down like this in front of him before. He, and everyone in town, including his ex-wife, knew how she felt about him, but she’d never actually told him she loved him before. “Jess, I don’t know what to say.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to hurt you…”
    “Then let me go,” she whispered. “I’m so tired of loving you, Jake.”
    His heart clenched at her quiet admission. How could he have been so blind? He should have seen what he was doing to her. “Sweetness, I’m sorry…”
    She shook her head, her big, blue eyes pleading with him to have mercy on her. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I did this. I allowed myself to fall in with love you. I was the one harboring stupid fantasies about us getting married, having babies…” She sobbed, turning her back on him. “I think Mama and Daddy were secretly hoping we’d take this big old house off their hands…” She sniffled. “I’d imagine us sitting right here drinking our morning coffee on the weekends.”
    He gripped her shoulders, drawing her into his arms, her back to his front. “Please, don’t do this.”
    The picture she painted sounded ideal, but he thought he’d found his happily ever after once before and he’d been wrong. He couldn’t afford to make the same mistake with Jessica. Their lives and their families were so entwined. Their parents were the best of friends. Their fathers played golf together on Saturday mornings, and their mothers volunteered at the nursing home and attended Sunday service together. If he screwed up with Jess, the way he had with Diane, none of their lives would ever be the same.
    He had a son to think about. It wasn’t just him anymore. He couldn’t imagine putting Jared through another divorce. His son already loved Jessica and she loved him. With so much at stake if they got involved and it didn’t work out, he couldn’t take that kind of risk.
    “I’m not saying Noah is the man to replace you, Jake. He’s probably not…” She gripped his forearm. “But someone else is out there for me, someone who can make me forget you. I have to believe that, and you have to let me believe that.”
    He kissed the top of her head. He knew he had to let her go, but how was he supposed to do that when he feared he may finally be falling in love with her, too? Love was one thing, but marriage and babies, her dream, wasn’t a dream they shared, at least not now. “I want you to be happy.”
    She reached up to grip his bicep. “I know you do. You’re a good man, the best…”
    He didn’t know about that. A good man wouldn’t be so selfish. A decent man would do what was right for her without thinking about how much it was costing him.
    “Did you know that Tucker wants me to go out with Phil?” she asked, leaning into him.
    He closed his eyes, inhaling her fresh scent. He didn’t ever want to forget that scent. He knew once she found someone else, someone to replace him, as she put it, he’d never be able to hold her like this again. “He told me.”
    “Do you think I should go out with him?”
    No, don’t. Watching her fall in love with someone else, one of his co-workers no less, would kill him. “I don’t know, Jess. Do you want to?”
    She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m so confused.” She turned into his arms, facing him. “Why’d you kiss me the other day?”
    “Honestly?” He sighed. “Because I couldn’t help myself.” He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers, watching

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