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athletic gear, and hats we buy—even if we’ve never shot a basket, run a mile, or sailed. These items have the brand names of the teams plastered all over them. These products do more than just advertise the manufacturer’s name. They are statements of their owners’ values.
    Look at the license plates on our cars. Ten or fifteen years ago, they were meaningless combinations of letters and numbers. Today they say things like BOBS AUDI, BMW4MOM, and GOLFPRO.
    Do you think a man or a woman wearing a Rolex is expressing his or her values? That’s pretty straightforward, right? Now, look at this: we know a multimillionaire who wears a forty-eight-dollar Timex because it’s an expression of his values! He likes people to notice his inexpensive watch—and to know that he could wear anything, no matter how much it costs. One of his values is being different; another is being thrifty.
    Values are so intrinsic to who we are that we don’t really choose to have them. It’s almost as though we are showing what values have chosen us. Values are that compelling.
    Values motivate us. When we find that our values not being respected by certain people or institutions, we make those people and institutions disappear, like the stranger in Yossarian’s tent in the novel Catch-22.
    We will not keep company with people who do not honor our values. We will not do business with companies that do not respect the expression of our values.
    Let us give you a famous example. Have you ever shopped at Nordstrom? Nordstrom is a very successful department store chain, and one reason it is so successful is that it is very big on honoring people’s values. The company plays live piano music in its stores and serves food to shoppers. It bends over backward to have a “the customer is king or queen” image. It is a real and tangible value for each of its current and potential customers.
    Nordstrom also has one of the most liberal return policies in all of shoppingdom. One day an elderly woman came in and told a Nordstrom salesman that she wanted to return something that was out in her car. The salesclerk accompanied her to the parking lot and proceeded to unload four tires the woman was dissatisfied with. He promptly wrote up her credit, returned her money, thanked her for her patronage, and expressed the hope that she would return and find her future purchases more satisfactory.
    Pretty good service, I’d say: true respect for the customer’s values. There’s just one thing: Nordstrom has never sold tires! We should mention that we don’t know if this story is true. After all, how could the clerk “credit” a payment that was never made or in their system? But we do know this: it is part of Nordstrom lore. And it is repeated from manager to manager, and now even from customer to customer. Nordstrom has become almost synonymous with exemplary service. Here’s the point: Respect my values and you’ve got a friend for life. Ignore them and . . .
    What do you suppose is at the heart of the high divorce rate in the United States? What do you suppose would happen to the institution of marriage if all the husbands and wives respected and supported each other’s values? Yet how many spouses truly know with clarity what each other’s values are?
    Values are the bottom line. What are your values? What qualities do you most admire and most want to experience and express in your life?
    In a moment, we’re going to ask you to write down some of your values, but first we want to explain something that might shift the way you see values and help them be more powerfully in your service, if only by making them more specific and more clear for you.
    All of our values matter, even the most seemingly superficial ones. However, the real power lies in the values we consider essential. Essential values have nothing else inside them; they’re like prime numbers, which can’t be divided any further. You could also call them source values. They are really the