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want
me, I asked myself a little sadly, shaking myself out of my
lingering fantasies.
    A couple beside me was kissing. Making out
was discouraged at the Spa, but always happened. People politely
averted their eyes, each in their own little bubble. It tantalized
me that I was close enough to touch them, close enough to put my
hand on her plump breast, just as he was doing now. She was the
only woman in the pool with full breasts besides me, I noted. They
were both large-boned, tall, and seemed utterly at ease with
themselves. She had lovely dark hair and he did too, dark curly
hair. It was even less likely that they’d be interested, for my
hair was dark too. Didn’t opposites always attract?
    As he cupped his hand on her breast and bent
to kiss her nipple, she smiled at me. I blushed, giving a hesitant
smile back.
    “Sorry for staring,” I said in a low voice.
“You just look...”
    “Blissed out?” she said with a laugh. “It’s
not as if he hasn’t been at me for the last two hours. Jeez, I
thought you’d at least give me a rest in the pool!”
    She spoke affectionately, and her partner
raised his head.
    “Honey, I’ve just given you three
orgasms.”
    “So give it a rest now, babe.”
    He looked at me, shrugging. His eyes were
very clear, shining and happy. They both looked like an
advertisement for something, I thought. Something I would want.
Something wholesome, actually. Maybe young campers, out on a hike.
No, one of those weekly camping trips that I had never gone on,
with bonfires every night and couples having surreptitious sex in
their tents.
    “The truth is, she’s a total slut,” he said,
grinning. I glanced around. Nobody was looking our way.
    “You seem embarrassed,” the girl said.
    “No, well it’s just...you obviously want to
be alone...” I kept waiting to be dismissed, but they seemed
intrigued with me for some reason.
    “Hey, we’ve just spent two days here
wallowing in each other. I think it’s time to
    come up for air.” She shook her thick mop of
dark hair and I watched her despite myself, drawn by her
vibrancy.
    “I’m Angela,” she said. “And this is my
boyfriend David.”
    “I’m Lisa.”
    “Are you a student?”
    “Yeah, I’m doing my masters at S.F.
State.”
    “That’s funny, so are we!” As we chatted,
comparing notes on our different
    programs (he was in science, she in drama, I
in writing), I wondered about their banter earlier. Had they wanted
to test me? Our talk was so mundane now, it was easy to believe we
were clothed and at a party somewhere, sipping our first glasses of
wine and making small talk. The only thing that kept catching my
eye was the way Angela rubbed up against David. He was holding her
gently from behind. Her lovely breasts with their large nipples
bobbed on the water. I kept swallowing and trying not to look.
    “Would you have dinner with us tonight,
Lisa?” Angela asked quickly, out of nowhere. I felt a sudden twinge
of nervousness and looked down.
    “We promise not to bore you,” David said. “We
have lots of stories.” When I met their gaze they were both smiling
at me.
    “Does that mean I won’t get any attention?” I
joked.
    “We’ll give you lots of attention, won’t we,
David?” Angela inquired.
    OK, I thought to myself. Just dinner. I had
always disliked eating alone at the Spa; it was the only part of
the trip that seemed lonely to me. As for anything else, it seemed
so unlikely that these attractive creatures walking out of the pool
in front of me would want more. I hung back self-consciously, then
forced myself to climb the steps, wishing the distance to my towel
was shorter. As I wrapped it about me, I noticed them looking at
me, and smiling. They were being kind, I thought, but nothing will
happen.
    Did I even want it to? Wouldn’t I feel too
guilty and freaky anyway?
    They weren’t lying about the attention,
though. What I discovered over dinner, as we ate the vegetarian
fare served at the Spa restaurant