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could buy my own leather jackets from now on . . . except that if they cut off my allowance that wouldn’t really be
fair.
    Natasha was fiddling with the Wii, putting on herkaraoke program. Typical. She comes over as sweet and shy, but really she’s a show-off, my little sister. A secret show-off. Only I realise.
    She was singing some song about dreams coming true – one of those rubbish
X Factor
hits – and gradually all the neighbours fell quiet. Mum and Dad were hugging each other, watching Natasha as her voice soared towards those high notes. I winced. Couldn’t they hear how tinny she sounded?
    Obviously not, because everyone started clapping.
    â€˜I’m going to bed,’ I said. ‘Night, everyone.’
    â€˜I’m coming too,’ said Nat. ‘Wait for me.’
    One massive advantage of buying my own place was going to be having my very own bedroom. Natasha and I had shared a room ever since she was one and I was three – I wasn’t too delighted to have my space invaded then, and I hadn’t got used to it over the ensuing thirteen years.
    But the problem with Natasha is that she’s so blinking nice, sweet and well-meaning, that perfectly reasonable sibling rivalry makes you feel like a Nazi.
    She was lying on her bed, surrounded by fluffy animals, writing her diary. ‘Natasha’s a very
young
fourteen,’ my mum used to say. She thought it was sweet, whereas I realised that Natters needed to ditchthe cutesy girliness fast if she was ever going to be a social success at school.
    â€˜Oh my God, Lia! I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to sleep again!’
    â€˜It’s me that’s won, not you,’ I pointed out. ‘I can do my own excitement, thank you very much.’
    My friend Shaz would’ve told me off for being a grumpy bitch. But Nat just stared at me, a little bit puzzled, and I felt like I’d clubbed a baby seal. So I said, ‘Anyway, I’ve got something to tell you.’
    Because, actually, Natasha and I got on OK when we were all on our own. Things went wrong when we were involved in delicate negotiations with the parental enemies, or when she embarrassed me in front of my mates, or insisted on singing at family parties. You get the picture.
    I described how Raf put his arm around me, how he smoothed away my hair.
    â€˜He was leaning in towards me,’ I said. ‘I definitely think that maybe he likes me.’
    â€˜Oh, Lia!’ she said. ‘That’s amazing. Oh my God. He’s gorgeous. It’s like everything’s happened for you at once. Like a fairytale!’
    There was not a shred of bitterness in her voice. Maybe she was thinking of her silver sandals, ormaybe it was the singing lessons, or maybe she was better at covering up envy than I would have been.
    All my life I’d felt like Natasha and I were in a competition, scoring points off each other. All my life I’d been watching out that she never got more of anything than I did.
    And now I’d won. Definitely won. Undoubtedly won. I was eight million pounds ahead.
    So why did I feel uneasy? Why did I wish she’d won as well?

Chapter 5
    Fifty pounds is a reasonable amount of cash to carry with you.
    I left it until 10 am to go round to Jack’s, but of course he was still in bed when I got there.
    â€˜You’ll have to come back later,’ said his mum, trying to shut the door on me.
    I pushed past her. ‘That’s OK, Donna; I’ll go and wake him up.’
    I could feel her disapproving eyes drilling into the back of my head as I bounced up the stairs. Not my biggest fan. She’d always thought I was a bad influence on her darling son, and blamed me for every time we got into trouble, even though it was Jack’s idea to let off the fire alarm in year six, and it was him who put Cuddles the school guinea pig in Miss Fay’s desk drawer.
    It was me who told him about her rodent