Read Let Us Eat Cake for Free Online Page B

kissed me. “You really are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.”
    “Don’t say things like that.”
    “Why not? It’s true.”
    “No, it’s hyperbole. You have no doubt met more beautiful girls. Like, there’s no way you haven’t, so don’t lie.”
    “Beauty is—”
    “If you say that it’s in the eye of the beholder, I will punch you for being so cliché. That’s bullshit.”
    “I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to quote Keats.”
    “Oh. Carry on then.”
    “Beauty is truth. You, Rachel, are truth—and that is beautiful.”
    “What are you talking about?”
    “I like how you do what you want. You’ve always done what you wanted.”
    “Do I?”
    “Don’t you?”
    “I guess.”
    I certainly had in the elevator, but that was unusual for me. There was no point in telling him that I was ordinarily quite reserved. Either he’d believe me and that’d force me into a box that no longer seemed to fit, or he wouldn’t believe me but he’d know what box I assigned myself to. This being a new relationship, I thought it best to let us discover each other without our own self-imposed definitions. It did, after all, take two people to create any dynamic. He was as responsible for the elevator incident as I was.
    “I find it really easy to be around you,” I said.
    “I’m glad to hear it,” he said, taking the mug into his hands. He blew off the steam and took a sip. “I think most girls are freaked out by me.”
    “Most girls? I knew there were girls.”
    “There are always girls, Rachel. It doesn’t mean I’ve been serious with anyone. Why do you keep trying to catch me in a lie?”
    “I’ve been cheated on. There, I said it. Now you know.”
    Not that it came as some sort of news flash that men could be jerks, but admitting that it had happened to me was still painful. I never wanted to be the girl that happened to. It was way too easy to feel damaged or like I had some kind of sign on my forehead that announced I had issues.
    “Oh.” He put down the tea and took my hands in his. “I’m not that kind of guy, Rachel.”
    “I want to believe you.” But I had also believed that the cheater would be faithful. Beliefs were fallible.
    “I don’t expect you to right away, but I hope you don’t compare me to whatever asshole it was who treated you like that.”
    “I won’t,” I said. Then I realized he’d just quoted Keats and said I was truth. No more hiding, I guessed. “That’s a lie. I probably will. But I’ll try to catch myself before I freak out. So anyway, the girls you were talking about…”
    “Nothing really. It’s just that…”
    He lifted my hand up to his mouth and held his lips to my skin. I wondered if he was trying to stall and collect his thoughts.
    He continued. “You know the stuff we started talking about last time?”
    I nodded.
    “I find that very few people are really open-minded when it comes to their own sexuality. Most of us have this kind of attachment to coolness. We all want to be a hell of a lot more radical than we actually are. But only a select few are really kind of different.”
    “And you are one of them?”
    He nodded.
    “Well, like… What are you into? Harnesses and pony rides? Leather collars and whips and chains?” I was trying to be as ludicrous as possible. It seemed that he was just being insecure about some aspect of himself he likely didn’t need to worry about. Everyone thinks their own kinks are weirder than everyone else’s.
    “Well, yeah… Sort of,” he said looking down.
    I was not expecting that. “Seriously?”
    “Well, not exactly what you said, but I’m definitely imaginative and I’m tired of pretending that’s not the case. I’m looking for someone on the same wavelength.”
    “And you think I am?” I said, sounding desperately academic.
    “I’m hopeful.”
    I pursed my lips. “I should probably tell you sooner rather than later that I’ve been forced in the past, and I’m not into