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ski house they had in upstate New York.  My mother was just taking a quick trip to the store to get something she needed for dinner our first night there and, um, she didn’t make it back.  There was some ice on the road and a driver in the opposite lane swerved and hit her head-on.  My dad said she died instantly.”  When I saw his sad look I shook my head, “Like I said, I don’t remember any of it.  I do get sad sometimes thinking of how it must have been for Caleb and Luke.  Sometimes I’ll see a family with boys who look about the same age they would have been at the time, just seven and nine, and I’m overcome thinking about how scared t hey must have been that night.”
    “Shit, Darcy.  I can’t imagine your dad trying to cope wi th that and three little kids.”
    “Yeah, I know.  I mean we definitely went through some tough times, my brother Caleb really struggled for years, but I don’t remember my home as a somber, sad place growing up.  My house was always filled with music, a lot of laughing, and there were always a lot of people around.  My grandparents were there in shifts to help out my dad.  And then Dad married Sarah.  I call her Mom too.”
    Realization dawned on his face, “Oh yeah, I saw a nother woman in the family pictures.  Dark hair, really pretty but didn’t look like you.”
    Thinking of her made me smile. “Yeah, Sarah’s great.  I absolutely adore her.  I always think she was an angel my mom sent to our family.”  Before I could think it through I asked, “Hey my father has a conference in Boston in a few weeks.  They’re coming here the night before it to take me out.  Come with me and you can meet them.”  As soon as I said the words I wanted to suck them right back in.  I covered my face, laughing but kind of mortified.  “Oh God, sorry, that was so weird!  I just asked you to meet my parents and we’re not even dating.  Please forget I just asked you that!”
    He laughed and grabbed my hands back in his, “No way! Now I’m definitely coming.  You can’t take that back!  And you already met my parents, so now we’ll be even.”
     
    That night, as I was trying to get to sleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.  I felt like he’d shared something so private with me when he told me about his brother and I felt like it was just natural to tell him about my mother. 
    Other people wouldn’t understand why I was typically reluctant to bring it up but he did.  It just defined you to other people and I resented that.  When I was younger I was “the p oor girl whose mom had died”.  I’d hear teachers talking about me that way, other kids’ mothers; it brought the sadness on all over again.  Now that info was strictly on a need-to-know basis; if you weren’t very close to me then you didn’t need to know.  But as for Tom? I wanted him to know everything about me.
     
    Tom
    I couldn’t sleep that night.  I wanted her with me.  Not in that way, though.  I wanted to take her home with me, curl her up in my arms, and just hold onto her.  My heart sank when she told me about her mother.  From the first day I met Darcy, for reasons I can’t explain, I just felt really protective of her and didn’t want anything to hurt her.  I didn’t want her to suffer in any way. 
    My thoughts drifted back to Charlie.  I thought of Charlie in the hospital and then lying in bed at home, so sick and weak from the endless rounds of treatment.  Towards the end, his face white as a sheet, his body so tired as he labored to breathe. 
    Charlie and I were close in age and always together.  There were six years between Charlie and Brendan and then one year between Brendan and Terrence; we were the “big brothers” and they were “the babies”. 
    When Charlie got sick I prayed every night that I could take it from him.  I thought I was stronger and could beat it easier than he could.  I always thought I was invincible.  I barely made it through