Read Learning to Move Forward: Novella #3.5 for Free Online

all we’re asking for, dear.” She stopped to scribble something on her notepad and looked at her watch. “I think you’re ready to move onto the next stage of your life, when you had the accident. Tell me what happened leading up to that day and the accident itself.”
    I didn’t have to think back to “that day” since it was always on replay in my mind. It was the day that would forever change me and how I looked at life.
    “Life was normal. I was head of the popular clique, into some sports, and co-captain of our cheerleading squad. I enjoyed some of the power the “in-crowd” gave me, but felt out of place at the same time. I wasn’t supposed to be friends with someone like my cousin, but what they didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt them. What was weird is that I connected better with Laurel and her friends than I did my own. I often questioned this, but I didn’t have to think about it long since life quickly changed.”
    A few tears escaped my eyes. “I’d made our group so hard to get into that I expected flawlessness from everyone. When the accident happened, my friends dumped me and I realized just how superficial we’d all been. I felt abandoned and alone, but I had Laurel rushing to my aid to save the day, when I wanted to give up.”
    Jocelyn looked a bit puzzled. “What did Laurel do to give you hope?”
    I smiled, thinking back on her waltzing into the hospital room. “She treated me like she always did. The fact that I was missing a hand didn’t matter. In fact she told me, after a couple weeks, that my accident had helped her make a decision about her future. She’d been torn between her father’s engineering background and her mother’s nursing background. She knew she wanted to go to MIT and thought robotics might be the solution. But with my accident, she’d decided she’d work in prosthetics just so I could have the perfect hand. She always did love a good challenge.”
    Jocelyn looked at me with knowing eyes. I replayed what I’d just said in my mind, and realized that even Laurel saw me as a perfectionist. She wanted to design prosthetics just so I could feel perfect again.
    “I need you to focus and continue with your story, Grace.”
    I let my mind wander back to that time. “My parents kept threatening to find me a therapist if I didn’t snap out of the foul mood I was in.” I turned to look at her. “I copped a good one, too. I was hurt by the rejection of my friends. I’d decided to take control of my life, pull myself out of my depression, and reject others before they could refuse me. The only people I let get close were Laurel and her brother Donny. Eventually, I learned to trust their friend, Freddie. But I kept most people at a distance.”
    Just the idea of Freddie made me laugh. “I don’t think Freddie would’ve cared if I’d been purple with pink polka dots. He seemed to see people for who they were deep down and ran with it. I was free to be me around all of them, except with—”
    I stood up and walked to the other side of the room, looking out her windows down onto the park. Jocelyn came up behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders in a show of support. “Remember that no one will judge you here. Say whatever is on your mind.”
    I couldn’t look at her when I said it. The weight of my words made my shoulders sag and my heart feel heavy. “I think I might have let my parents down. They always seemed so sad after the accident, and even now, I see them trying to smile and keep up appearances that all is well in the world. But I often catch the worried expressions on their faces. It makes me feel that I didn’t live up to their standards. They can no longer claim that I’m the perfect child and have bragging rights.”
    Wait a minute. Why am I beating myself up over this? Shouldn’t they love me for just being their daughter, not for being perfect? I suddenly felt angry and turned to address Jocelyn. “Why do I suddenly feel angry all of a sudden?”