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not for you, then for me.”
    She looked down as she started to cry. He reached out and lifted her chin up so he could make eye contact with her again. “It’s okay, Larkin. It’s going to be okay.”
    “Okay,” she finally whispered reluctantly as the tears ran down her face.
    “Okay?” he asked to make sure he heard her correctly.
    She nodded yes. “Okay. For you.”
    He wiped her tears and pulled her into his arms. He knew that was probably the hardest thing she had ever done.
     
    Letter #6 - August 3, 2011
     
    Dear Ryan,
    You came back to see me early this morning. I know you thought you woke me, but you didn’t. I couldn’t sleep. You have since left to head back to South Africa. God, why do you have to be so far away? I just want to thank you, Ryan. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being the most generous human being. I am just happy to know you. Happy to know that people like you exist. You offered to pay for my chemotherapy again, and, although I swore I would not accept your help, the words that came out of your mouth were impossible to say no to. I don’t want to die, Ryan. I know you think I was giving up by not accepting your help, but that wasn’t the case. Being sick is bad. Being sick and not having health insurance is worse. But disappointing you? Leaving you behind without a fight? Being alone? Leaving you alone? That’s improbable. I promise I will do my best to live. If not for me, then for you. As I fight the biggest battle life has to offer, I promise I will tell you everything. I will write you everything, but you must promise me some things, Ryan. If I am not so lucky as to beat this, if I don’t live, promise me you’ll live on for me. Promise me you will live the most incredible life, meet the most incredible people, see the most incredible places, and make the most incredible movies. And lastly, promise me you will stop all this nonsensical dating you do and fall so in love with someone that you can’t imagine living without her. Life is incomplete without love. Find it, catch it, hold onto it, nurture it, and never let it go.

CHAPTER 4
     
    Letter #7 - August 22, 2011
     
    Hey, Fish,
    Just a short letter. I spoke with you today. Your voice has a healing tone. Just hearing it makes me smile. You told me today you were able to get some time off so you can come to my first chemo treatment with me. I didn’t say it to you, but I am so relieved. I need you there. I need you to hold my hand. I don’t want you to know how scared I really am. You always tell me how strong I am, but I don’t feel strong. You are my strength, and I can’t wait to see you, although it’s a shame I am going to see you under these circumstances. Three more weeks.
     
    Letter #8 - September 11, 2011
     
    Hey, Ry Guy,
    Tomorrow is the big day. Treatment one of six. I am so glad you are going to be there. It means so much to me you are traveling all this way just to be here. You are traveling almost an entire day just to spend a few hours with me.
    Have I told you how amazing you are? Why are you so good to me?
    I am scared, Ryan. Terrified. I sort of have an idea of what to expect. Being a nurse helps, and I have been reading the brochures that the doctors gave me. But no matter how many preparations I have had, my fear is insurmountable.
    I spoke with Chris today. He found out the news. He expressed his concern and sorrows. He said that if he had only known sooner, he would have done things differently. That’s exactly what I didn’t want. I don’t want someone there because they feel obligated. I want someone there because they want to be. And you want to be. You have always been there. Thank you for always being there.
    I will see you tomorrow, and I will do my best to be strong.
     
    Letter #9 - September 12, 2011
     
    Ryan,
    Well, it’s here. The second Monday of the month. The first day of the hardest journey of my life is about to begin. The scream from the alarm clock was loud enough to