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case her mother would try to light the fire or roam off and get injured. Rebecca was in knots about what would become of her mother. It was so unusual for an Amish person to suffer this way but the doctors couldn’t explain how it happened and Rebecca had to adjust her and her mother’s lifestyle.
    This was not the plan Rebecca had envisioned for herself. She wanted to be like her friends and be married by now with a menner and kinder of her own but caring for Rosalie was a full-time job in itself. And Rebecca couldn’t think of any man who would knowingly take on such an ill mother-in-law. Rebecca couldn’t see any future for herself. It seemed like she was condemned to being single. Rebecca scolded herself whenever she found her mind drifting off to what would never be for her. After all, it wasn’t her mother’s fault. This was the path that Gott had chosen for her and she must accept it.
    As she started the stove to prepare the oats for breakfast, Rebecca’s mind turned to her mother and their fears of something happening to her. When her mother was coherent she felt sorry for Rebecca having to cope with her but there wasn’t any way to change it. Rosalie’s condition was progressive and all she and Rebecca could do was to adapt their eating and living arrangements. 
    Rebecca made sure Rosalie was always warm. She would love to have her in the kitchen but she was too afraid in case the oxygen tank would explode. Rosalie’s mind would drift from time to time and Rebecca couldn’t trust that something bad would not happen. Rosalie was always on Rebecca’s mind.
    As she prepared the fruit to have with the oats, Rebecca’s mind drifted to their old breakfasts of scrapple , how she’d love to eat that now. Oats and fruit, while nutritious, became monotonous day after day. But her mother’s health couldn’t handle any greasy or fried food. Rosalie had to eat small meals over the day rather than three bigger meals and while Rebecca loved to cook, she felt very limited in what she could make for her mother. Her day was punctuated by meals. Her mother needed a lot of energy to keep her muscles strong.
    Rebecca’s mind drifted, imagining what it would be like to have kinder of her own and to see them playing outside. She thought about the meals she could cook and how she longed to experiment with recipes. Then she felt sad and guilty. It was her private torment. It seemed easier for her to cope when her mother actually needed her because then her focus was on what she had to do to give her mother some relief.
    As an only child, there was no back-up for Rebecca. So when her mother was resting, Rebecca would stress eat. It seemed her only way to dull her senses for a brief time. What did it matter if she became fat, it wasn’t as if she was getting married in any case? Rebecca had no-one to confide in. She bottled up her feelings inside. She couldn’t ever tell her mother as Rosalie was prone to worry and any stress exacerbated her condition. Anyway, thought Rebecca, what would it solve to talk to Rosalie? Rosalie would be upset as would Rebecca. It didn’t matter what Rebecca wanted, she had her mother to look after.
    Rebecca’s thoughts were broken by Rosalie coughing and needing help. Her walking ability had deteriorated, she became so out of breath easily that Rebecca was concerned about even taking her around the house for exercise, but the doctor said it needed to be done to keep the muscles strong.
    When Rebecca’s kneaded her mother’s back, she thought about how the community had rallied around at the time of Rosalie’s diagnosis. The Bishop had given his permission for Rosalie to use the oxygen tank and neighbors had offered their assistance but Rebecca didn’t want to shirk her responsibility and had politely declined all offers of help. The offers soon dwindled and now no one offered their help. Rebecca was worn out. She didn’t sleep well at night-time, as she always listened out for a change in