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absolutely cold, arctic. “Well, why don’t you start on phones and we’ll go from there. I’ll get one of the girls to show them to you.” She added, “Oh, and Jane? I forgot to mention one thing. Here at Fiona Chen Events, you are not Maryanne’s daughter. You are just Jane. Do we understand each other?”
    Jane gulped. “Yes.”
    “Good. And please don’t be late again.”
    OMG, Jane thought as she struggled to keep her enthusiastic, positive, worker-bee smile plastered on her face. I’m so screwed.
     
    At noon, Jane sequestered herself in one of the ladies’ room stalls and speed-dialed Scarlett on her cell.
    Scarlett answered after one ring. “Well, hello there, Ms. Big-Shot Event Planner. Hey, can I hire you when Snake Tatt and I get married? I was thinking Vegas, Mardi Gras costumes, live reptiles—”
    “Oh my God! She’s gonna fire me,” Jane interrupted, choking up. “I can’t do anything right. I filed all the things that were supposed to be filed under ‘Accounts Payable’ under ‘Accounts Receivable.’ Or was it the other way around? And then I accidentally hung up on Miranda Vargas when she called about this charity fashion show.”
    “You talked to Miranda Vargas?” Scarlett said, sounding impressed. “Did you tell her we’re huge fans of Vice Squad ?”
    “No, I didn’t talk to her, Scar, I hung up on her. And then I went to Trader Joe’s and bought regular old honey-honey instead of raw honey, and Fiona noticed that her coffee tasted different, and she started yelling at me, even though we’re all supposed to speak in soft, peaceful voices around the office so we can maintain a stress-free environment for our clients—”
    “What the fuck is raw honey?” Scarlett interrupted.
    “I don’t know. The point is, Fiona hates me.”
    Jane heard someone come into the ladies’ room. High heels clicked against the black tile floors. A stall door opened and closed.
    “I’ve gotta go,” Jane whispered.
    “Janie, wait,” Scarlett said firmly. “Listen to me. You are not going to get fired. This is only your first day. First days always suck. Remember our first day at Café Mexicana three summers ago? I got in trouble for correcting the manager’s Spanish too many times. And you accidentally mixed up the salsas and almost gave the guy a heart attack. At the end of the day, we went back to my house and swiped a bottle of Ketel One from the parents’ liquor cabinet. Nobody got fired. Everything turned out okay.”
    “No, Scar. Everything didn’t turn out okay. That vodka was evil. I was sick for the next two days. And didn’t we both quit that job?”
    “Yeah, we quit. We weren’t fired. Never forget, it’s always better to be the dumper than the dumpee.”
    The person in the other stall started peeing. Jane pressed her phone tightly against her left ear and covered her right ear with her hand. This was really bizarre, talking to Scar and listening to someone pee at the same time.
    “Are you peeing, Jane? I told you not to do that when you’re on the phone with me. It’s weird,” Scarlett scolded her. “I’m at U.S.C. dealing with registration. I’ll see you later, okay? We’ll do something fun. Love you.”
    Jane cracked a smile. “Thanks. I now feel slightly better about my boss hating me. I’ll see you tonight.”
    Jane said good-bye to Scarlett and tucked her phone back in her bag. The person in the other stall flushed. It was not a gentle, peaceful flushing sound but a loud, gurgly, explosive flushing sound. Jane thought, Down the toilet. Just like my future.
    Jane emerged from the stall and dropped her bag onto the slick black countertop. She studied herself in the mirror. She was a mess. She took a deep breath and pulled a small comb out of her bag. She undid the clip in her hair and attempted to smooth her blond waves into a more polished updo.
    “Don’t worry. She hates everyone,” a voice behind her said.
    Jane looked over her shoulder. Coming out of