Read Knee-Deep in Wonder for Free Online

watched the shimmer of trees passing and heard Uncle Ed’s anxious voice. “You just smile if she don’t come out. It take two to make ugly, and I done brought you up better than that.” But her mother had let her into the living room, winking, calling Helene names that rang in her ears like ghosts. A Mable in a blue dress, a Morning whom her mother scolded for staying away so long. The past flickered before them, different colors, until Helene reminded her mother she was her daughter and then Queen Ester put her out.
    Between the name-calling, Queen Ester had stuck a glass of water in her daughter’s hand and Helene told her the things she thought a mother should know, her voice high and wavering while she tried to strike the note that would make Queen Ester give her tea or let her stay for dinner. Uncle Ed had stayed in the car, its purring engine drowning out the country silence. What Helene had to tell took no time, just a quick breath, a short exhale; everything important was said by the time her mother sat in the chair, except Helene wasn’t sure she had been heard. Queen Ester had stared at her, waiting till Helene had to catch her breath. In the snippet of soundless air, the mother spat out, “I know something of mine is burning on that stove by now. You just get on.” But this time, not only did Helene have Annie b’s death but also the letter, its ripe invitation dangling at the end of the page.
    â€œHelene?” Uncle Ed folded his hands over his stomach, his irritation breaking through her memory.
    â€œYes?”
    â€œYour mama—”
    â€œThose other times…” she interrupted, then dwindled to a close. Those other times, she thought, I didn’t look so good, my shoes were run over with grass. “Mama’s not like that all the time. Don’t you remember when—”
    â€œI remember. But your mama turn off and on like a switch.”
    â€œUncle Ed, I know. I’ve been there.” She looked at him over the rim of the open car door. A soft hush settled on them that she quickly broke. “Thank you.”
    â€œI just don’t want you coming back here looking like a broke heart. Now you got all that old hurt stuffed in your purse. What good is all that gone do?”
    â€œThis time she asked for me.”
    â€œThat come-on could mean just bout anything, coming from your mama. And that don’t count for why you want to haul them letters with you.”
    â€œI just want to show her I’ve got them. Every time I go down there I forget.”
    â€œYou thinking both y’all gone lean over them and make it right?” His voice curled with concern. “She ain’t a bad woman, but you got to learn when to leave well enough alone.”
    â€œUncle Ed, it’s just this one time more. I just want to know. I want to know it all.” Despite herself, she had become angry.
    â€œAll of what?” Shame crept into his face.
    â€œAll of everything.”
    â€œAnd what good is that gone do you?”
    â€œWhere was your father born?”
    â€œGirl, you know all that.” Ed looked tired, older than his age, but Helene pushed on.
    â€œTell me anyway.”
    â€œVirginia. Galax, Virginia.”
    â€œAnd your mother?”
    â€œTexas.”
    â€œWere they good people?”
    â€œStop it, girl.”
    â€œWere they?”
    â€œYou know it.”
    â€œThat’s all I want to know, Uncle Ed. Where my daddy was from and was he among good people.”
    â€œI can tell you that.”
    â€œI want to know all the things in the middle, too. Can you tell me that?”
    â€œBaby girl.” He paused, sweeping his hand over his face. “And when you know all that, what you gone do then?”
    She laughed. “Well, I guess I’ll get married then.” Uncle Ed thought, How somebody can be so grown and not grown at the same time just don’t figure to reason. All those memories