your butterfly dies.
Those are the rules.
Sick, huh?
But Skylar’s so sure it’ll work,
she floats away from the table
like she’s a butterfly herself.
I don’t know if I should feel
sorry for her
for putting so much faith
in permanent marker
or if I should feel
just a teeny bit good inside
because Skylar named her butterfly
for me.
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Skylar’s Nervous Breakdown
It’s all Bullhorn’s fault.
She never should’ve said that
Skylar’s gonna become another
Teenage Statistic if she doesn’t
start seeing herself for
the Beautiful Person that she is.
Then Donya wouldn’t have said,
“Oh yeah, twigs are soooo hot.”
And Jag wouldn’t have laughed
until chocolate milk spurted out his nose.
And Skylar wouldn’t have bolted
down the hallway screaming,
“Lemmeout! Lemmeout!”
And I wouldn’t have sat there
with my mouth open
wishing I’d said thank you
for the butterfly.
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There’s So Much Drama
My mother thinks it’s all because
of the hormones in cow’s milk
making girls hit puberty way too soon.
And not just the early bloomers.
A whole generation of twelve-year-olds
budding in their teeny-weeny bikinis
and sprouting armpit hair
before their frontal lobes
have a chance to catch up.
But what does she know?
My mother also thinks that margarine
is one molecule away from plastic
and that fried food will make
her hair turn gray.
That’s whacked.
But sometimes I wish she was right,
because to tell you the truth,
I’d give up dairy products all together
if it would make all the drama go away.
And Skylar come back.
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Before Group Therapy
I’m staring at Jag’s
perfect pecs,
his awesome abs,
his flawless face
when Roger points
at sneakers propped
on Skylar’s empty seat
and says,
“Take them off.”
And then . . .
Plop.
Plop .
I’m staring at Jag’s
pissed and perfect feet.
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The Three C’s of Addiction
Why does Roger look at me like that?
I’ve never soaked gummy bears in vodka
or snuck off campus to get high at lunch,
and just because I smoked pot
one time with Rennie,
that doesn’t mean
I’m addicted.
But Roger says
if you crave something
and lose control
and keep doing it
over and over
despite the consequences ,
then you’re addicted.
Yeah?
So what?
Why does he keep looking at me like that?
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What I Find in Skylar’s Empty Room
Five carrot sticks she pretended to eat at lunch.
Four clumps of hair that brushed right off her head.
Three unopened letters.
Two bloody tissues.
And a poem she wrote today—
What the Blade Says
I am the shadow
that waits in dark places,
silent and patient,
to follow you home.
I am the tiger
that eagerly chases,
racing and running,
wherever you roam.
I am the hunger
that feeds on your madness,
biting and clawing,
to swallow you whole.
I am the silver
that soaks up your sadness,
body and spirit
and all of your soul.
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The Rubber Room
Donya finds me in Skylar’s room
and sees the bloody tissues in the trash.
She says she knows exactly what that
means and she pulls me out of the room.
She points down this long narrow hall,
past the rec room and the emergency exit,
to a thick black door with a tiny