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I desperate? Jesse wondered. Was he grasping for straws in pursuing the widow Emma as his frau ? He’d been so certain Da Hah was leading him as he visited her that first time. Emma was also gut looking, especially if she’d take better care of herself and smile once in awhile. Perhaps that was part of the mystery and allure that drew him. That and thinking of Da Hah ’s will. But the fact that she was gut looking was not without its appeal. He had to be honest about that.
    Jesse stared at the brightening sky and thought of Emma. She’d grown up in the community, and he’d known her all his life. Until recently, he’d never paid her much attention. He had been a happily married man. From his memories of their growing-up years, Emma had always been the quiet girl. There had been no scandal that he remembered, though there had been those stories floating around that Emma’s heart had been set on Daniel Kauffman. But then she’d married Ezra. And that had been none of his concern. Emma meant little to him back then. His eyes were set on Millie, the community’s dashing girl. He’d won her hand even with the stiff competition from several other, far-more dashing men.
    Jesse smiled thinking about his younger days. They were pleasant memories, and he should think on them more often…even with the pain that had followed. All the young folks in the community had been of the dashing sort in those days. But perhaps that only seemed to be true now that middle age was setting in. He was still young really—in his early forties. But he felt old. Farm work could do that to a man. Make him feel weary before his time, wrinkling his skin and lining his face.
    Yet it was Da Hah ’s best way of living. Had not Da Hah sent Adam out of the garden to till the soil and fight the thorns and thistles? Indeed He had. And though many men did other work that was perhaps just as worthy, there was no labor more satisfying than working the soil. Why, a man’s touch could make land that had been cursed grow again. What higher calling in life was there?
    Was this perhaps why he was interested in Emma Raber? She had been withering away for years now, living alone with her daughter. Wasn’t it time Emma’s life blossomed again? The thought caused his gaze on the dawning sky to grow more intense. Nee , that might not be a very gut reason to court a woman. And it sure would be taking a lot upon himself, trying do work that only Da Hah could do. But had Da Hah not commanded men to lay their hands to the plow and not look back? He had indeed. And so far Jesse had no plans to look back when it came to Emma. He planned to wed the woman. She needed help, that was plain to see. But that wasn’t his only reason for pursuing her. He also found her attractive in a unique sort of way. Emma might even be beautiful if she were happy again. Plus, they shared a similar loss, did they not? They had both lost partners they loved. Emma had loved Ezra like he had loved Millie. Of this he was sure.
    And another thing was also certain. Emma believed in taking care of herself. In the end he might fail in his pursuit of her. And if he did, there were always other options available. Homer Troyer’s widow, Ruth, had recently made clear her interest in him. Her attentions had begun with warm smiles at church services. They would soon progress to other forms if he didn’t miss his guess. Ruth hadn’t yet begun bringing food over, but she would think of that well-known female maneuver soon. Marrying Ruth didn’t greatly appeal to him though. She’d lost Homer last year to cancer, soon after Jesse had lost Millie. But Jesse still didn’t feel like he had that much in common with her. Not like he had with Emma anyway.
    Ruth was teaching school this year. Homer had left her with no children after all those years. If Jesse took Ruth as his frau , there would be no additional children to bring into his family. That made no difference one way or the other to him. He simply