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something better to come out of my mouth. Something with emotion. It wasn’t going to come, though, and we both knew it. And if by some miracle I’d been able to get the right words to cross my lips, she wouldn’t have wanted them anyway. Not if they were coerced and only half true.
    Instead of giving her what she thought she wanted to hear, I squeezed my lips together and looked away. I took the coward’s way out. But then she surprised me— no, a better word would be shocked. She shocked the shit out of me with what she said next.
    “I’ve been talking to someone else,” she said quietly. “For a while.”
    My head snapped back around, and I was suddenly able to look at her. “What?” I could feel how wide my eyes were, and how indignant my expression was, even though I had no right to be indignant. “Another guy? You’ve been cheating on me?”
    My brain struggled to process the words. My pride told me I must have misheard.
    Layla pulled away, surprisingly calm as she folded her hands into her lap and regarded me with a sober expression. “I haven’t cheated on you, Jamie. I wouldn’t do that. But… I’ve thought about it. Well, not about actually cheating on you, but about going out with this other person. You and I are just—”
    After a few drawn out seconds, I whispered, “Over?” I looked into her eyes. “Are we going to be able to stay friends?”
    “I think so.” She smiled wistfully. “You don’t seem too upset.”
    My heart was beating fast. I felt like I should say something profound, something to make it all okay, but it wasn’t okay. We were breaking up, and it was awful because I didn’t seem to want to fight to change that.
    Dammit, why can’t I just be a good boyfriend? I need to do something.
    “Maybe we could—” I began slowly, but Layla cut me off with a resolute shake of her head.
    “It’s okay, Jamie. I understand you don’t want the same things as me, you know? That’s why I just needed to move on. I may seem tough, but deep down I’m just a girl. I can’t help it. I want the fairy tale.”
    “And this other guy… He gives you the fairy tale?”
    “I don’t know. Maybe.” Layla shrugged and scanned the room, and I couldn’t help feeling like she was looking for a way out, like she’d rather be anywhere but sitting here talking to me about relationships. Because the truth was, ours was over. Maybe the other guy was waiting for her somewhere in the cafeteria, watching all of this go down.
    If he was watching, he didn’t get much of a show. We could have at least argued, shared a few tears, but instead it felt like nothing, and the nothingness was ultimately more painful than any drama we might have had. I just sat there awkwardly, feeling the nothingness like a boulder in my gut, not wanting to stay, but not knowing quite how to say goodbye and get up and walk away.
    And that was how I became single again. Emasculated in the cafeteria by a tiny blond cheerleader with a Mexican twang.
     
    MIRANDA didn’t seem surprised when I got home and announced to everyone in my living room that Layla and I had broken up. In fact, except for Trey’s half-hearted Really? and Braden’s overly-shocked No! , there was no reaction to my earth-shattering news. Trey and Braden continued playing their video game.
    “It’s about time,” Miranda said, earning a suspicious glare from Braden. “I mean, you two were just not compatible. Did you know there was a rumor that she was seeing Matt Foster?”
    Fuck. One of my teammates?
    “She didn’t tell me it was him. Just said she hadn’t cheated on me, but that they had been talking.” I plopped down on the sofa next to Miranda. “We’re still friends, though.”
    I feel numb. I must still be in shock.
    Miranda snorted. “Okay.”
    “What? We are friends.”
    “I said okay.”
    She clearly didn’t believe me, and I didn’t bother trying to convince her. Either Layla and I were friends, or we weren’t. She’d be busy